I Never Make Resolutions
Dec. 31st, 2009 11:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sathorBut I think I have too.
So, here are my New Years Resolutions for 2009/2010
I will never smoke marijuana again until I am in a better life circumstance, and even then, it is questionable.
I am giving up cigarettes after this pack is gone. I have enough to last me through the ritual drinking tonight.
This will be my second New Years single. But the thing is, I'm not sure I really mind.
I had this dream the other day. It really made me think about a lot. As has the looking back on my high school journal entries.
I have been climbing for a very long time. In the dream, I was climbing this really steep mountain - it had a roadway, and it was more like a hill...grassy, very green and alive. I was climbing along the roadway...it was so steep in some places, I actually needed a rope to climb up.
As I was making my way up, people from my class in high school were coming down it - all in their cars.
There's some really deep metaphorical significance here to me. I think it means that my struggle is still going on. But most of the people I knew in high school...they've finished their college years and have settled down with a job, or whatever. I still have so many miles to go before I sleep.
But on the other hand, the climbing may have been symbolic of other things as well. Climbing up is a very deep mystical symbol to me...I used to use it a lot in meditation. I think it means that I am taking the right path. I really don't want a vehicle. I really don't want anything material any more.
But I think that my new years resolutions will be some of the final steps I need to take before I really reach the tranquility I have desired for so long. I feel twinges of it even now...a kind of return to who I was around the time I met Val...because the person I was then was a much more enlightened person than I am today.
I also really strongly believe in this Karras thing. Apparently the idea is that who you are determines the kind of people you meet - but the key is that you can change who you are. As long as I'm smoking marijuana, I'm going to meet other people who smoke it...and I don't really enjoy those kinds of people anymore. I want something different out of my life, and my final resolution is to make sure I take the steps this year to get there. I am not planning ahead, but I am going to start a journey.
So, here are my New Years Resolutions for 2009/2010
I will never smoke marijuana again until I am in a better life circumstance, and even then, it is questionable.
I am giving up cigarettes after this pack is gone. I have enough to last me through the ritual drinking tonight.
This will be my second New Years single. But the thing is, I'm not sure I really mind.
I had this dream the other day. It really made me think about a lot. As has the looking back on my high school journal entries.
I have been climbing for a very long time. In the dream, I was climbing this really steep mountain - it had a roadway, and it was more like a hill...grassy, very green and alive. I was climbing along the roadway...it was so steep in some places, I actually needed a rope to climb up.
As I was making my way up, people from my class in high school were coming down it - all in their cars.
There's some really deep metaphorical significance here to me. I think it means that my struggle is still going on. But most of the people I knew in high school...they've finished their college years and have settled down with a job, or whatever. I still have so many miles to go before I sleep.
But on the other hand, the climbing may have been symbolic of other things as well. Climbing up is a very deep mystical symbol to me...I used to use it a lot in meditation. I think it means that I am taking the right path. I really don't want a vehicle. I really don't want anything material any more.
But I think that my new years resolutions will be some of the final steps I need to take before I really reach the tranquility I have desired for so long. I feel twinges of it even now...a kind of return to who I was around the time I met Val...because the person I was then was a much more enlightened person than I am today.
I also really strongly believe in this Karras thing. Apparently the idea is that who you are determines the kind of people you meet - but the key is that you can change who you are. As long as I'm smoking marijuana, I'm going to meet other people who smoke it...and I don't really enjoy those kinds of people anymore. I want something different out of my life, and my final resolution is to make sure I take the steps this year to get there. I am not planning ahead, but I am going to start a journey.
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-31 06:05 pm (UTC)You would if you were on the west coast. Or someplace other than bumfuck Pennsylvania. Where all kinds of people exist and smoke weed too. And thanks for the insult and stereotyping of ALL people who smoke weed, which includes my family, myself, and my friends. You cannot possibly be so limited in your perception that you truly believe all people who smoke weed are alike. I mean...do you think all black people and latinos are alike too? No. That is called stereotyping and just because your perception of the world is infinitely limited and centers around some podunck shithole doesn't give you the right to accept your minimal perceptions as fact around the world. Try expanding your horizons and experiencing the world as a whole and you might find that your initial perceptions formed from observations in an area that spans 1/10000 of the entire globe might just change a little bit.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-31 09:14 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you took so much offense to this, good God.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-31 09:53 pm (UTC)Am I really in fucking hell, or am I just a fucking misfit who people don't get along with?
You decide.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-01 03:24 pm (UTC)Fuck my preconceptions about who I am or what I appear to be to other people. I know better. People fucking love me. Even if sometimes people say shit about me they shouldn't, in the end, they are focusing their attention on -me-. They are exerting energy on -me-. And if they don't know me, they really have no idea. Learning this PUA stuff is going to give me the kind of edge I need to really connect wherever I go, and I'm going to need to do that to be an artist of any kind whatsoever, or a fucking philosopher for that matter. You can't be a philosopher if people don't start listening to how you think and perceive.
I appreciate you commenting. Hope things are going well with your baby - I read your post, halfway there huh :) I hope you are really excited!