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Feb. 21st, 2014 06:21 amI had my top right wisdom tooth pulled Wednesday. It took him about 10 minutes of work after the novacaine kicked in...and he really didn't seem to think it would put me down. I still called off yesterday and today, mostly because it was still bleeding and where I work is completely unsanitary...our water line froze so there's no running water...and it takes 10 minutes to get anywhere in plant where there is running water. That and per usual, any time I get novacaine shots and have dental work done, I end up with chills and weakness. Just don't feel like I can run my ass off for eight hours, even today...and that's exactly what I've been doing the past few weeks because shutdown is right around the corner and I work in the warehouse so we've got an insane volume of equipment and parts coming in, and a lot of outside contractors coming down who need to be shown stuff. It's non-stop.
Oh yeah, shutdown. The whole plant this time, for two months. I got put on 3rd shift, which will be 10 hours from 9-10pm to 7-8am, for about two months straight. I'm not even sure I'll make it through the whole thing...it's going to be ridiculous and I'm really not looking forward to it. I'm not going to see my friends...I might be able to talk to them for a little bit before work on some days...but that's about it. Just adds on to this whole trend of meaninglessness in my life. I've saved lots of money but really have no use for it...meanwhile this job has basically taken everything that mattered to me away, including aspects of my personality which I'm still trying to cling to.
I've been reading the bible a lot lately, mainly before bed. The New Testament now, because I've never read it before - and I have probably read about half of the Old Testament already, mostly in College for religious studies. I keep finding that I seem to fit the descriptions in Matthew of the people who are damned or cast out - one particular passage last night had to deal with people who have things in abundance and those who do not. Parables, of course - A lord gives three servants a different number of "talents" (assuming Gold talents, but it could also be read as "talents" as in skills, I suppose) the first is given 5, and he makes another 5 with it, and the lord is pleased. The second is given two and makes two more, and the lord is pleased. The third is given one, and he goes before the lord and says something to the effect of, "I was afraid, so I buried it in the earth - what is yours is yours." But the lord basically condemns him for it, saying, "Those who have abundance will receive such things in abundance...those who have nothing will receive nothing." And I started thinking about love, and relationships, sex, money, whatever. Seems to me that I get to be one of the people with nothing, receiving nothing, and having to work ten times as hard to earn even the smallest bit of something. I'm not trying to play a woe is me card here...it's just that when I read that passage, I really felt like the last servant was me - I'm the one who's afraid and can't seem to turn what little he was given into something more meaningful/beautiful. I've been trying hard for a long time to no avail...maybe it's just fate, maybe it's written, just like in that passage.
Oh yeah, shutdown. The whole plant this time, for two months. I got put on 3rd shift, which will be 10 hours from 9-10pm to 7-8am, for about two months straight. I'm not even sure I'll make it through the whole thing...it's going to be ridiculous and I'm really not looking forward to it. I'm not going to see my friends...I might be able to talk to them for a little bit before work on some days...but that's about it. Just adds on to this whole trend of meaninglessness in my life. I've saved lots of money but really have no use for it...meanwhile this job has basically taken everything that mattered to me away, including aspects of my personality which I'm still trying to cling to.
I've been reading the bible a lot lately, mainly before bed. The New Testament now, because I've never read it before - and I have probably read about half of the Old Testament already, mostly in College for religious studies. I keep finding that I seem to fit the descriptions in Matthew of the people who are damned or cast out - one particular passage last night had to deal with people who have things in abundance and those who do not. Parables, of course - A lord gives three servants a different number of "talents" (assuming Gold talents, but it could also be read as "talents" as in skills, I suppose) the first is given 5, and he makes another 5 with it, and the lord is pleased. The second is given two and makes two more, and the lord is pleased. The third is given one, and he goes before the lord and says something to the effect of, "I was afraid, so I buried it in the earth - what is yours is yours." But the lord basically condemns him for it, saying, "Those who have abundance will receive such things in abundance...those who have nothing will receive nothing." And I started thinking about love, and relationships, sex, money, whatever. Seems to me that I get to be one of the people with nothing, receiving nothing, and having to work ten times as hard to earn even the smallest bit of something. I'm not trying to play a woe is me card here...it's just that when I read that passage, I really felt like the last servant was me - I'm the one who's afraid and can't seem to turn what little he was given into something more meaningful/beautiful. I've been trying hard for a long time to no avail...maybe it's just fate, maybe it's written, just like in that passage.
