T

I still can't look at pictures of her without sheer panic and dread passing through me. I went off of facebook for a reason, it only figures I guess, that when I finally made another account, I would immediately see her in the list of "people I might know."

I don't know what it is about her specifically. It's none of the other exes. Just her.

Really sick and tired of it.


Two days ago I had a dream about her - she is one of the only exes I still dream about, too. We were in a relationship in the dream, and I popped the whole "lets have a kid" speech. Back when we were together, I didn't want anything to do with it - rightfully so, because I didn't have a good job, had just finished college, and we were both still feeling life out...but I know that it meant a lot to her, and that she wanted to have kids before 27 or so. Well, she's getting awful close and I know she's been through a number of boyfriends since me, and still no kid. Sigh.

I really wish she would talk to me again. I think that's the hardest part, knowing I had someone I was so close to for years...more than just the two we dated...and she'll never speak to me again...and probably, even if we came across each other in public, she'd just avoid.