![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
PT and everything else
Feb. 7th, 2014 12:30 amPT was kinda silly. Most of what they showed me exercise wise the orthopedic surgeon could have told me to do in about 5 minutes at home, and I wouldn't be $10 co-paying. But, if I cancel and or refuse to go, the Dr. will probably drop me, and if serious issues eventually develop, it will essentially be my fault. I'm sure insurance has something to do with all of this. It's alright I guess - they told me my hamstrings are incredibly tight which is bad, and I've always kind of known that - hopefully that's what's causing most of the issues in my left knee, and it can be rectified shortly. I hate hamstring stretches, but I can't say I'm against fixing that issue if it's possible. Plus, once I get better, it will help me a lot in my dead lifts and squats to be more flexible below the waistline.
Work has been okay, I guess. Nothing has changed. Everyone is still negative as all hell. Mr. 4th DUI showed up and received his final letter, which he had to sign. If he misses any more work, he will probably be terminated, with or without a doctor's excuse. Like I said...about half of the team called in sick for a week of my vacation. It actually kinda irks me, because I took my vacation - all of it - fair and square. It resulted in me having more work to do when I came back than I should have had, and it's -really- not fair. If I called in for a week straight, I'd be in serious trouble. Mr. 4th DUI has missed about 8 weeks of work, most without Dr. excuses, in the past 10 months. He's basically invincible...I'm not even sure they'd terminate him if he missed more. Such is the unfairness of life. Even people who are untrustworthy and undependable can be kept employed if a company is frightened that it can't find more people who are at least as competent as said person. There's like no real human capital in this area...you'd think that'd make my chances better at finding very lucrative work. Ah well.
The more I read on autism the more I wonder about myself. I know I lack a lot of soft skills, and I definitely suffer from some degree of this whole strange planet syndrome...but on the same token, I'm not really sure I'm all that incapacitated by it. My social issues could even be the result of very high intelligence and a naturally serious demeanor. I'm very business oriented and have a hard time with small talk, have a hard time building meaningful rapport with new people, have a hard time starting conversations (although I don't seem to have much of a problem with some.) That being said I don't generally /try/ to start conversations, either. I have enough going on in my own mental train of thought, and whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish at the moment. With my friends and family, I don't really have any issues. So self-diagnosis is questionable at best - I'm not super attractive, not super popular. I don't get a lot of female attention even with my above average physique. I'm not sure if I'm autistic or not, but I definitely can't seem to get certain things straight in my life...and those things are commonly associated with people who suffer from Aspergers.
I have been told I'm cold and unapproachable, and that is probably true. I don't think a lot of women fall head over heels for guys like that. My last girlfriend actually told me I'm probably in for a long life of loneliness if I don't seek psychological help for my depression and outlook on life. Not that she was free of psychological issues herself - she was a diagnosed narcissist - but I worry that maybe, long term, she's right. Truthfully though, I just -can't- approach new people, small talk, get them to like me, whatever. I'm just terrible at the dating and friend "game." Such is life. Maybe someday I'll luck out and meet a girl who has similar issues...so we can at least understand each other. Sometimes I think that was the biggest problem in my past relationships. They never really understood me...sometimes I wonder if they even tried.
Work has been okay, I guess. Nothing has changed. Everyone is still negative as all hell. Mr. 4th DUI showed up and received his final letter, which he had to sign. If he misses any more work, he will probably be terminated, with or without a doctor's excuse. Like I said...about half of the team called in sick for a week of my vacation. It actually kinda irks me, because I took my vacation - all of it - fair and square. It resulted in me having more work to do when I came back than I should have had, and it's -really- not fair. If I called in for a week straight, I'd be in serious trouble. Mr. 4th DUI has missed about 8 weeks of work, most without Dr. excuses, in the past 10 months. He's basically invincible...I'm not even sure they'd terminate him if he missed more. Such is the unfairness of life. Even people who are untrustworthy and undependable can be kept employed if a company is frightened that it can't find more people who are at least as competent as said person. There's like no real human capital in this area...you'd think that'd make my chances better at finding very lucrative work. Ah well.
The more I read on autism the more I wonder about myself. I know I lack a lot of soft skills, and I definitely suffer from some degree of this whole strange planet syndrome...but on the same token, I'm not really sure I'm all that incapacitated by it. My social issues could even be the result of very high intelligence and a naturally serious demeanor. I'm very business oriented and have a hard time with small talk, have a hard time building meaningful rapport with new people, have a hard time starting conversations (although I don't seem to have much of a problem with some.) That being said I don't generally /try/ to start conversations, either. I have enough going on in my own mental train of thought, and whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish at the moment. With my friends and family, I don't really have any issues. So self-diagnosis is questionable at best - I'm not super attractive, not super popular. I don't get a lot of female attention even with my above average physique. I'm not sure if I'm autistic or not, but I definitely can't seem to get certain things straight in my life...and those things are commonly associated with people who suffer from Aspergers.
I have been told I'm cold and unapproachable, and that is probably true. I don't think a lot of women fall head over heels for guys like that. My last girlfriend actually told me I'm probably in for a long life of loneliness if I don't seek psychological help for my depression and outlook on life. Not that she was free of psychological issues herself - she was a diagnosed narcissist - but I worry that maybe, long term, she's right. Truthfully though, I just -can't- approach new people, small talk, get them to like me, whatever. I'm just terrible at the dating and friend "game." Such is life. Maybe someday I'll luck out and meet a girl who has similar issues...so we can at least understand each other. Sometimes I think that was the biggest problem in my past relationships. They never really understood me...sometimes I wonder if they even tried.
