The Experience
Jan. 3rd, 2004 12:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sathorWarning to all, I could quite possibly sound insane explaining this...as #1 it is very hard to explain with words, and #2 it's something that not everyone is going to experience in life. So deal with it. If you don't want to know what my trip was like, don't read the lj-cut. However, if you want to hear about a very interesting experience, go right ahead. Because it is interesting, and quite cool. However, I won't be doing it again for a long time. I agree with the guy who wrote a faq on erowid about them on how one should only experience the divinity of it a few times a year. And because of that, I now feel like I have abused marijuana as well for far too long, so I am going to stop buying for a long time
But, after finally experiencing what can really truly be called a trip, I don't really believe drugs are useful for spiritual experiences...at all. Maybe if I get more experienced in time I'll be capable of handling it...but who knows.
I think you can learn valuable lessons while on them, glimpses of insight and the like...but it's nearly impossible to truly decide where you want to go. The mushrooms carried me where they wanted me to be...there isn't much more to say spiritually on the subject.
I figured out that I'm comparing myself to society far too much, but that was basically the only useful lesson learned. Beyond that, the only thing spiritual I had was the walk outside in the misty field and forest. I had been on the shrooms for about three hours inside when I finally decided to go on that walk...and all I could think when I went outside was green...everything felt green. Also...wide open spaces were really frightening, so I was somewhat scared when I went out there. It was like I had been sheltered the whole time from the world and when I finally stepped out I felt as though I knew nothing, and was a very tiny speck of dust in the multiverse. And yeah, my sensory perception was very muddled, senses were mixing and matching, I could feel music, I even felt like the music was being imprinted on me as a being at one point...but music wasn't the strangest part of the experience, oh no.
When I was tripping, I wrote a text file about how I was feeling so I could at least recall it afterwards...and one line pretty much explained the entire ordeal, "It's like stepping past a door that leads to nowhere."
I wasn't having hardly any visuals while I was downstairs where my computer and basically all of my entertainment was at, so I decided to go lay down on the floor in my room and just stare and the ceiling...relax, think about how this is going, if it is doing anything for me...
And after a short period of time I was suddenly lost in the ocean that is my memories, my memories were being played before me like a movie in my mind and they would mix with fantasy realities created in the past or right then by my mind...I can't be sure...but while I was lost there, the visuals started to appear...my ceiling fan (which was turned off) started to swirl, get sucked into the ceiling...the walls would melt and reform. My entire visual perception was being mixed and molded and changed, it was almost like one of those hippy shows, they always show the 'trippy' stuff...well, that's really what it was like. Colors would change, and certain colors would make me 'feel' different. I could 'feel' like a color...Like how I felt green when i looked outside and then went outside right after.
It wasn't really frightening though. You'd figure with walls melting and even some visuals almost like blood dripping and running, it's be scary...but it wasn't. I was very calm and quite happy, smiling and giggling/laughing much of the time. I did think to myself a couple times that I might end up insane from this but I believe I figured it was worth it to experience such a reality as that. At one point I looked over near the attic door and I saw two colors flashing, one red, to the lower left, one blue to the upper right, and they were flashing in and out towards me...I laughed and said, "Colors attacking." Don't ask, because I don't know why. (I normally talk to myself so it's okay, don't worry about it ;))
There are specific visuals I remember more vividly than anything else, and I'm not sure why. The very first ones I had was the live tree in our living room blinking at me (it wasn't really blinking...that was just the first word that came to mind to describe it when it happened...it was more like a part of it blurring and then coming back into focus) And then right next to there a drop of water dripped off of a shadow...then, I took a drink of water and I watched the way it moved as i tipped it up, and it seemed like the entire liquid shuddered...I broke into a laughing frenzy after that.
The last visuals I remember the most was the bear in the forest (I saw him for a moment, sitting on the path I always use to walk to my little 'grove' area...I wasn't going to walk there, but I decided to after seeing him) and when I was sitting in my room (literally like a madman...I had my back against the wall, knees basically up to my chest, and I was nodding my head to a distant rhythm) part of a metal piece on my bed started to melt and float upwards. It was so wicked looking, and then it sorta turned hot pink i think...hmm...
But...that about wraps that up. A totally strange and crazy experience, with only a couple important lessons learned. One of them that drugs aren't going to lead to enlightenment.
The end.
But, after finally experiencing what can really truly be called a trip, I don't really believe drugs are useful for spiritual experiences...at all. Maybe if I get more experienced in time I'll be capable of handling it...but who knows.
I think you can learn valuable lessons while on them, glimpses of insight and the like...but it's nearly impossible to truly decide where you want to go. The mushrooms carried me where they wanted me to be...there isn't much more to say spiritually on the subject.
I figured out that I'm comparing myself to society far too much, but that was basically the only useful lesson learned. Beyond that, the only thing spiritual I had was the walk outside in the misty field and forest. I had been on the shrooms for about three hours inside when I finally decided to go on that walk...and all I could think when I went outside was green...everything felt green. Also...wide open spaces were really frightening, so I was somewhat scared when I went out there. It was like I had been sheltered the whole time from the world and when I finally stepped out I felt as though I knew nothing, and was a very tiny speck of dust in the multiverse. And yeah, my sensory perception was very muddled, senses were mixing and matching, I could feel music, I even felt like the music was being imprinted on me as a being at one point...but music wasn't the strangest part of the experience, oh no.
When I was tripping, I wrote a text file about how I was feeling so I could at least recall it afterwards...and one line pretty much explained the entire ordeal, "It's like stepping past a door that leads to nowhere."
I wasn't having hardly any visuals while I was downstairs where my computer and basically all of my entertainment was at, so I decided to go lay down on the floor in my room and just stare and the ceiling...relax, think about how this is going, if it is doing anything for me...
And after a short period of time I was suddenly lost in the ocean that is my memories, my memories were being played before me like a movie in my mind and they would mix with fantasy realities created in the past or right then by my mind...I can't be sure...but while I was lost there, the visuals started to appear...my ceiling fan (which was turned off) started to swirl, get sucked into the ceiling...the walls would melt and reform. My entire visual perception was being mixed and molded and changed, it was almost like one of those hippy shows, they always show the 'trippy' stuff...well, that's really what it was like. Colors would change, and certain colors would make me 'feel' different. I could 'feel' like a color...Like how I felt green when i looked outside and then went outside right after.
It wasn't really frightening though. You'd figure with walls melting and even some visuals almost like blood dripping and running, it's be scary...but it wasn't. I was very calm and quite happy, smiling and giggling/laughing much of the time. I did think to myself a couple times that I might end up insane from this but I believe I figured it was worth it to experience such a reality as that. At one point I looked over near the attic door and I saw two colors flashing, one red, to the lower left, one blue to the upper right, and they were flashing in and out towards me...I laughed and said, "Colors attacking." Don't ask, because I don't know why. (I normally talk to myself so it's okay, don't worry about it ;))
There are specific visuals I remember more vividly than anything else, and I'm not sure why. The very first ones I had was the live tree in our living room blinking at me (it wasn't really blinking...that was just the first word that came to mind to describe it when it happened...it was more like a part of it blurring and then coming back into focus) And then right next to there a drop of water dripped off of a shadow...then, I took a drink of water and I watched the way it moved as i tipped it up, and it seemed like the entire liquid shuddered...I broke into a laughing frenzy after that.
The last visuals I remember the most was the bear in the forest (I saw him for a moment, sitting on the path I always use to walk to my little 'grove' area...I wasn't going to walk there, but I decided to after seeing him) and when I was sitting in my room (literally like a madman...I had my back against the wall, knees basically up to my chest, and I was nodding my head to a distant rhythm) part of a metal piece on my bed started to melt and float upwards. It was so wicked looking, and then it sorta turned hot pink i think...hmm...
But...that about wraps that up. A totally strange and crazy experience, with only a couple important lessons learned. One of them that drugs aren't going to lead to enlightenment.
The end.
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Re: hey
Date: 2004-01-08 05:22 pm (UTC)Then again, you might've tried other hallucinogens and not tripped...and I'm not really telling you to trip, that's your choice :P
Haven't talked to you in a long time!