I can't get over it

[sathor]

I can't get over how awesome Obscurity is. I know, there's a million things people could bitch about with regards to it. They could say it's not clean enough, they could say it's too repetitive or not complicated enough, but I just can't find anything fucking wrong with it. It's a perfect expression and it's like I'm staring at the face of god while simultaneously hearing his breath as the climaxes occur.

I've never been this attracted to something I've done.

But I'm really starting to wonder, am I just convincing myself I am good at this? I really love this track, I really do...I don't see what is separating it from what is "popular" and for that matter, with a lot of what I'm starting to do, the line is beginning to blur in my mind, to my ears.

But nothing else is blurring. I'm still just as unpopular as ever, although I have to admit the past week I was getting about a hundred plays a day - but that's a result of me individually adding people and asking them to listen.

It's not that I -need- to be popular, I just want God to tell me that what I'm doing here is beautiful in his eyes, you know? I want to know that what I am doing here is meaning, has meaning, that it is reflecting something timeless and powerful, immaculate.

Comments

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

It's tough at the moment because the music industry is in such a godawful state. What's popular right now is often very far from what is good. I guess the thing to be grateful for is that right now it's easier than ever to actually have people exposed to your work. Monetising it though is another story..but it sounds like that's not your primary focus anyway.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

I agree with that assessment totally. I don't really care about the money at all...it would be great to see some kind of return on my artistic investments, because I often worry I should have used what little money I've had elsewhere.

But it's just...I don't think I'm ever going to get an answer to this problem. And that really irks me in ways that are very hard to describe.

I don't know what it is I'm missing, if anything, and even if people were to tell me this and that, it ultimately won't help that much because perspectives differ such a great deal. Ugh.

I know I'm not a total amateur or a newbie, but I don't know where I stand. I don't want to be forced to do things in a formulated way so that it is completely familiar to people, either, just to achieve a sense of worth.

There has to be a show

[sendao.livejournal.com]

This is the world of entertainment. People don't just want to listen to music, they want to stare at lights and dance in the grip of the sweating masses. I know it takes a while for anybody to get on stage, obviously you have to make music and get popular first, but there may also be ways to improve your "glitz" rating. I know that you're not all about glitz and glamour, not trying to say you should "Change your image". But people love "lights, camera, action." Maybe you need to put on more of a show? Your myspace is a good example; it's a show of sorts, and certainly attracts a good deal of attention. I don't really know where I'm going with this, just thinking out loud mostly.

Re: There has to be a show

[sathor.livejournal.com]

I would love to take it further, like having video blogs and philosophical sessions recorded. But i really don't want to use myspace for that. I was thinking about going with a facebook account and seeing how far i can modify it as far as embedding music/video, and how well i can streamline it.

Or alternatively I may start using youtube more, but the audio quality isn't perfect there either. Myspace really sucks for audio quality.