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Cookie and Valerie
Jan. 21st, 2013 10:45 pmI found a bunch of old pictures of myself and others. In my old folder...the one I've kept alive somehow for a decade or more now.
In one, there's Val and Cookie. The two longest relationships I ever had. Cookie was sitting in a chair at a computer and Val had her arms around her neck. Val had a huge smile, Cookie looked a lot darker. They both were very pretty. I totally see what I saw in them. I really do.
I still love both of them, so much. And I'm sure they'll never know that, or care at this point. If they even have pictures of me left, I doubt they ever look at them and think happy thoughts, or feel regret, or miss me. Even though I feel all of those things.
I have progressed from that point in my life...I have come a very long way. But in some ways, I still wish, that I could live in those moments with those two forever. Because when the love was real and strong...and there was no infedelity...and they still loved me...it was perfect. I've never had anything like it since...I'm afraid I may never find it again.
I can't blame myself for what happened...and I can't blame them either. If only I had seen it that way in those days, maybe, they'd still consider me a friend at least.
In one, there's Val and Cookie. The two longest relationships I ever had. Cookie was sitting in a chair at a computer and Val had her arms around her neck. Val had a huge smile, Cookie looked a lot darker. They both were very pretty. I totally see what I saw in them. I really do.
I still love both of them, so much. And I'm sure they'll never know that, or care at this point. If they even have pictures of me left, I doubt they ever look at them and think happy thoughts, or feel regret, or miss me. Even though I feel all of those things.
I have progressed from that point in my life...I have come a very long way. But in some ways, I still wish, that I could live in those moments with those two forever. Because when the love was real and strong...and there was no infedelity...and they still loved me...it was perfect. I've never had anything like it since...I'm afraid I may never find it again.
I can't blame myself for what happened...and I can't blame them either. If only I had seen it that way in those days, maybe, they'd still consider me a friend at least.
