(no subject)

[sathor]

What is this anyway.

I'm going to hopefully get high tonight and eat as much as I possibly can because I'm not even hungry -sighs-

I've really had enough of everything honestly. My mom keeps all of her anger at everything inside and then finally flips out on basically everyone in the house, I go upstairs afterwards, calm myself, and actually manage to meditate a little.

But I've really had enough.

My head aches.

I keep phasing out existence into stupid thought patterns.

I've slept for...pretty close to a total of 17 or so hours counting last night and a nap and I'm still tired as hell.

I'm not sick, but I feel totally under the floor.

I can't take the lonliness anymore people.
I can't take it.
This computer doesn't cut it anymore.
I /need/ companionship, or I'm going to die like this. I can feel it.

But I've felt so many things today. I probably don't really need companionship. I interpreted that dream I had so long ago as the goddess leaving me, but I'm not sure if it's really what it means, because it could mean so many things...

I told myself at one point, "Maybe I'm not meant to love." and i started to cry. What the hell is up with that anyway. This is so tiring.

I feel so tired and old. Just let this fade away. This all has to be a dream.