(no subject)

[sathor]

Grrr.

I remember talking to something when i was in deep trance earlier today.

But I can't remember a damn thing that was said, and i just realized that i didn't remember the moment i came out of trance.

-sighs-

Well, at least i'm getting better. It used to be i'd black out constantly and not remember a damn thing after trancing. At least i can feel like something is missing now. (It was important, I do remember that, and i remember speaking in my mind in the echoed blackness of existence that it is awesome to be able to hear something that is not physically there, nor a part of my conscious self)

It has come to my attention that through what me and jenn talked about, and a few realizations that have come that I believe man is god and yet god is man. I didn't know if this was a belief that many understood, but i have pondered it quite a few times.

On Robert Bruce's website (A man who has done a lot of Astral Projection work, written numerous books, and is the source of all that i know on AP basically) there is a page titled Initiation. The author says that initiation isn't what people think it is. It is a raising of the self. There are magical circles that exist beyond the physical realm, and these circles can be introduced to a person through initiation...which then allows that person to perform things that he couldn't before, etc.

http://www.astralpulse.com/magick/romero/romero_1.htm

It an interesting article in the least, and i definitely am not the best person to try to explain it indepth.

However, the last paragraph defines that belief i have that i am god and yet god is me. I am already a part of god, yet I am not complete. Or maybe my conscious hasn't reached the point where it understands the connection fully.

In whatever sense, it makes perfect sense what the author says.

Beyond this, I'm beginning to believe I have been astral projecting since i was a little kid.

Those 'blackout's i've had my entire life, these points in time, anywhere from a few seconds to minutes to nearly an hour...though i don't think they have ever last beyond an hour, had to of been either deep trances or astral projections, or both.

Because there's no other way to explain them. I truly cease to exist in the conscious i know for their duration. And the memories have been being wiped since the beginning because i probably wasn't ready for the information.

But I ask...how is it that i would've automatically had these episodes since the beginning...

Maybe it is part of a greater plan.

Ever since the first time i tried to actually project, with the intention to, i have felt the vibrations of the higher planes, I have felt the feeling that i am a part of something greater, and have felt as though the world around me collapses and i know a world of emptiness, but not emptiness, that extends in all directions forever around me.

But all of this is pointless rambling...hmmm...contemplation is an interesting thing.

Comments

[jennb.livejournal.com]

Go read Stranger in a Strange Land.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

...That's part of my curriculum for my Science Fiction/Fantasy class, heh.

This Martian Chronicles book is currently occupying me...all i can say is, wow...it's just...so heart rending i think...

[cichli.livejournal.com]

i've had some blackouts. oh wait that was because i hit my head in a concrete wall and passed out for 3 minutes.

i dunno dude. seems like you're coming closer to an answer now.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

These blackouts are the only thing in my life i can say i know of no one else having.

There's no medical condition that causes them, because i don't move when they happen. I'm just right there, for the duration, in the same position it began in.