(no subject)
May. 22nd, 2003 10:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sathorSo like, i'm a total idiot.
I told myself 'No pot on weekdays', I've broken that promise to myself every night but monday so far this week.
The problem is, when i don't have it, i deal with it. When i have it, i wanna be high all the time.
So, I'm very pissed off at myself.
I realized there is one girl that i can imagine myself dating that is my age. We've been friends since we were little...and she's been dating a guy for two years or so now, so i mean, no chance there. But i realized I would if i could...
It's all coming down to this 'is life worth it without love' bit. Again. Must've been sparked by the fact little tidbits of info of my past are coming out again as i let a few new people get to know me. They would've been better covered up and left untouched...
But...if i want to start being more open...I have to be willing to let everything out, right?
I like these new people. I have so much in common with one of them it scares the hell out of me. But if i get lucky enough to meet people like that quite often on the net, shouldn't i get lucky and someday meet someone in reality that is tangible and i might continue my life with?
I hope so...
I told myself 'No pot on weekdays', I've broken that promise to myself every night but monday so far this week.
The problem is, when i don't have it, i deal with it. When i have it, i wanna be high all the time.
So, I'm very pissed off at myself.
I realized there is one girl that i can imagine myself dating that is my age. We've been friends since we were little...and she's been dating a guy for two years or so now, so i mean, no chance there. But i realized I would if i could...
It's all coming down to this 'is life worth it without love' bit. Again. Must've been sparked by the fact little tidbits of info of my past are coming out again as i let a few new people get to know me. They would've been better covered up and left untouched...
But...if i want to start being more open...I have to be willing to let everything out, right?
I like these new people. I have so much in common with one of them it scares the hell out of me. But if i get lucky enough to meet people like that quite often on the net, shouldn't i get lucky and someday meet someone in reality that is tangible and i might continue my life with?
I hope so...
