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Hmm...
I'm horribly depressed, and I don't know why.
This is the first time I don't have a reason to be.
This is also the first time i've considered going to see a psychiatrist or something.
But...problem being there, they'd think i'm a delusional idiot for my beliefs, as well as my parents don't have the kinda money to pay for something like that...i'm not going to drain their pockets anymore than i already do...
So...i don't know what's going to happen. If i can get through one more day of school I have a weekend.
I need it.
Why you might ask? Well, the ritual i'm going to have to complete to summon a demon for a certain deed is kinda complex.
I was going to put down what i'm supposed to do, but fuck that. I don't need to be teaching people how to perform rituals. Especially since some idiot kid could get him/herself into some serious spiritual trouble.
Anyway, either i can summon a demon or try to cut the bond myself. I'd honestly rather have another, stronger, creature do it for me, but a demon is going to want something in return. Diabolerie is all i have as an option to give at the moment...and am i strong enough magickally to carry out the banishing of one of the demon's arch enemies...
I doubt it.
So hmm...what the hell am i going to do.
Draining her didn't work. I think it just provoked her because i've been about three times as down since i tried that.
I'm horribly depressed, and I don't know why.
This is the first time I don't have a reason to be.
This is also the first time i've considered going to see a psychiatrist or something.
But...problem being there, they'd think i'm a delusional idiot for my beliefs, as well as my parents don't have the kinda money to pay for something like that...i'm not going to drain their pockets anymore than i already do...
So...i don't know what's going to happen. If i can get through one more day of school I have a weekend.
I need it.
Why you might ask? Well, the ritual i'm going to have to complete to summon a demon for a certain deed is kinda complex.
I was going to put down what i'm supposed to do, but fuck that. I don't need to be teaching people how to perform rituals. Especially since some idiot kid could get him/herself into some serious spiritual trouble.
Anyway, either i can summon a demon or try to cut the bond myself. I'd honestly rather have another, stronger, creature do it for me, but a demon is going to want something in return. Diabolerie is all i have as an option to give at the moment...and am i strong enough magickally to carry out the banishing of one of the demon's arch enemies...
I doubt it.
So hmm...what the hell am i going to do.
Draining her didn't work. I think it just provoked her because i've been about three times as down since i tried that.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-08 08:41 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-05-09 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-09 04:53 pm (UTC)And I don't usually ask for payment.
Re:
Date: 2003-05-09 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-09 08:33 pm (UTC):P
Re:
Date: 2003-05-09 10:20 pm (UTC)oh yeah...that reminds me...when i told cass about the dream where i got called a betrayer of fenris, she called me a traitor...heh...i think she's in with the 'bad' guys, if you know what i mean.