Short update

[sathor]

Helped dad tear apart a 1950s backhoe attachment (sat outside for 20 years or so) over the past few weeks. Wire-wheeled all of the hydraulic cylinders, and had to tear apart one of them to replace the packing, piston and cups - he also milled a new stainless steel shaft a bit as the shaft was shot as well. Primed the whole thing and then painted it international red. Built a bracketing system to put in on the rear end of an international 4N crawler. We just started toying with it yesterday - it's amazing how well made technology from the early to mid 1900s is compared to what gets sold today.

Tearing apart my motorcycle now (1982 Honda FT500) - mouse nest in the air filter - they ripped some of it up, too, which means buying a whole new housing and filter assembly - and it's been leaking oil out of the cylinder head, so time to replace the head gasket. Good project to keep me out in the garage and learning from my dad - which is really all I wanted to do at United, anyway. When he was working there, he was always so busy at home that I never felt like I could really gain his insight on anything...which made it hard to really learn.

Didn't hear back from United, and it's been three weeks today - funny because Barry assured me it was the time to apply. They hired 6 people last week that were interviewed in April, but I have no idea how long they waited before a call for the interview. Probably just a week, which is standard for most businesses. I'm guessing I'm blackballed. It's actually really sad in a way - four years of experience, and they'd rather hire people with no clue. I missed 12 days of work in a year (2 more of that were personal days) and pretty much everyone knew I was getting sick all the time. I just can't believe that they'd hold it against someone who put as much time in as I did.

I hate the place with a passion to be frankly honest, but it was my best chance of being able to retire someday and staying around here to be close to family and take care of the property. It's also really infuriating that college isn't going to work out. I've been coming across people on reddit who did the exact same thing I did - waited for when their parents income wasn't considered and saved as much as they could - and they had no problems getting pell grants and state grants. Guessing I'm probably blackballed there too, somehow.

Always had a hunch there was more to it than just money earned and money saved - there's far too many other questions on aid applications that seem to have nothing to do with ability to pay.

Comments

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Wow, that is a lot of mechanical work; way to go! So good that you're getting to work with your Dad.

The fact that United didn't call you for an interview doesn't mean you're blackballed. If they hired 6 people last week that were interviewed in April, they may be waiting a bit to see how they work out before hiring any more.

"I just can't believe that they'd hold it against someone who put as much time in as I did."

So, don't believe it. The fact that you didn't get called in yet doesn't necessarily mean anyone is holding anything against you. It may just be that having put in those four years doesn't give you an advantage.

You did hate working at United, and you were sick and miserable all the time there, so it wasn't your best chance to retire; you'd never last 30 years in that wretched place. It was your best chance to build up another good pile of savings while you figure out what you really want to do, so now you'll have to make a different plan. Maybe this is actually a good thing, because getting sick again would certainly put a crimp in all your plans.

"they had no problems getting pell grants and state grants. Guessing I'm probably blackballed there too, somehow."

Why would you be? Financial aid departments don't 'blackball' people, except for bad credit, which I assume you don't have.

Nobody has "no problems" getting those grants, whatever they may say on Reddit; it's an absurdly complicated process. If other people with the same numbers as you got the grants, and you didn't get them, the most likely reason is that they were more skillful at working through the red tape.

" there's far too many other questions on aid applications that seem to have nothing to do with ability to pay."

Well, like what specifically? and why do you think they're asking them?

[sathor.livejournal.com]

It's true that they may not have blackballed me - although it does somewhat look that way. Barry seemed very sincere about it being a good time to apply, which would've meant a call within a reasonable time frame - my application is only active for a few more weeks now (end of June) and still nothing. If he lied to me about it being a good time, that is a bit of an indication that they are being vindictive towards me (wasting my time) - which wouldn't surprise me any, given the culture down there. Ah well - not really anything I can do about it, and yes, you're correct - I would be sick and miserable again eventually, it's most likely inevitable. Ever since applying I have been going back and forth between sheer terror and the realization that it's one of my better chances of affording to stay here - sheer terror because I know what rotating shifts do to a human being, but also because I know that even if I love huge industrial work environments, they are incredibly dangerous - especially when people who don't really care, or aren't educated enough to really "get it" beyond what they have to aren't safe operators.

As for the financial aid stuff? Well, I think we may have had this conversation before - but they do ask prying questions like whether or not your parents went beyond high school education - they ask if you have any assets (like stocks, which aren't really liquid assets - pulling them out to pay for college can actually *lose* you money.) There's some things that just don't add up, at any rate - my EFC barely changed, and my income last year was $17,000 compared to my parents combined at something like $70,000 back before I was 25. I really can not imagine my savings impacting it as much as a yearly, stable income, but I also don't want to say how much it is here (although, I probably already did at some point.) Considering the average debt load has skyrocketed from something like $25,000 in 2008 to $39,000 now, I guess it shouldn't be surprising at all - things aren't getting better for prospective college students...they are getting drastically worse, and fast.

As for the mechanical stuff, yeah, it's been both very interesting and exhausting. I've never torn apart an engine before to see the inner workings first hand, and dealing with tolerances of .002 of an inch on valve stems and the like is pretty nerve wracking for me. It's all back together now - I did a valve job (ground out the seats a bit with some coarse compound) reset the counterbalance on the crankshaft, cleaned the carbon off the piston head and put in a new head gasket. There's absolutely no way I could've done most of this without my dad - so I'm very grateful he's around. This is stuff I should've been doing when I was much younger, but I was far too busy chasing girls and wasting my time, I guess.

Heh, more or less given up on girls I think. It's actually kinda sad, really - I keep thinking I'll dig myself out of the hole I'm in, but it seems like any time I start getting close, some other health problem or something else smacks me down again.

Well, take care Jess - hugs - hope you're having a good spring!

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I am having an excellent spring; better because James's relatives and their dogs will not be coming till August, yay! (When I issued the invitation, I did not realize three terriers would have to be included: argh.) So now that we've done all this frantic housecleaning and yard work, we can kick back and just enjoy the place ourselves, all clean and ship-shape.

"even if I love huge industrial work environments"

... do you love them? I don't think you ever mentioned that before, and it changes my view of your career options considerably. What do you love about them? If money was no object, and your health and family situation were no barrier, what would you really like to do? and what sort of certifications would you have to get in order to do it?

"they are incredibly dangerous - especially when people who don't really care, or aren't educated enough"

Seems to me you would do well at educating people, and persuading them to really care ("because if you screw up, you may die" is a very compelling argument.) Here's something to consider: you write very well, and you grok industrial safety protocols; not just the particulars, but the underlying principle (i.e. "Do not screw up") - well, all those training-manuals and instructional materials have to be written by someone.

Does your town have a volunteer fire department? If so, it might be very useful to you to join it. It would get you known in a positive way to a lot of local people who might be in a position to do your career some good. Parks and Recreation is another good option; they always need help in the summer. The thing about "it's not what you know, it's who you know" is true, especially in small towns.

Not going back to United sounds like the best possible thing you can do for your long-term health. Not getting into debt sounds like the best possible thing you can do for your long-term financial security. So: United; student loan - what's next on the list? Is leaving Warren an option, or no, or only if something really good turns up, or what?

Very cool, that you got the engine up and running! Huzzah for your Dad; sounds like he has a lot to teach you. If you weren't ready to learn it when you were younger, at at least you're learning it now.

Giving up on girls for the time being is probably the wisest course, while you're figuring out the other aspects of your life. What's going on with your health now? Are the dietary changes making a difference?

*hugs hugs* Since the Solstice is only a week away, I'll wish you a good summer a little early. Be well, dearheart; enjoy the season!

[sathor.livejournal.com]

Dietary changes are questionable - I've been messing with stuff on and off for awhile, and I haven't really noticed much having a lasting impact. I'm thinking *maybe* high fat foods, or at the very least, large meals, are causing issues, and I also think that "hot" stuff (which I've always loved) - hot sauces, red pepper, hot wings, that sort of thing - is also an irritant. *sometimes* I'll eat burger, or other red meat, and it will bother me - other times, it won't. There doesn't seem to be a set reason behind that (even fat content, I've eaten ground chuck a couple times...not that I enjoy it...and it didn't bother me, although most of the time it has - same with 90/10, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. Same with chicken, even.) I've found coffee does seem to cause some issues...sometimes.

I'm questioning whether it's even diet at this point - I seem to have something more along the lines of functional dyspepsia/IBS, and I'd almost believe I might've had an H. Pylori infection (due to the severe bloating just before this started and off and on a few weeks after.) I'm trying two anti-acids a day for a bit, to see if I get some improvement (if my tissues were damaged from an infection, it could help to reduce the acidity so they could repair - proton pump inhibitor is a common treatment, not that i have access to that over the counter.) I mean, I guess at some point I'll probably have to see a doctor - but as a whole, it has improved from the first month or two. There's less episodes, even with a more varied diet, and I am working out again. I do at times get a little bit of discomfort in my abdomen when working out now, which also begs the question of a hernia - but like you said, these symptoms don't really fit with it.

Now, do I love industrial work environments? Well, thinking back to United, there were things I really loved about it. The huge machinery, the constant thrum that drowns out everything else, the giant super structures that had to be climbed regularly. I didn't have any of that while at the stockroom for the last two years - which was a huge source of my depression - and there was no way out except shift work - which, at the time, I didn't want to do. I do love working on equipment, I love using wrenches and tools and I love the learning aspect included in those things. Now, the culture down there sucked, too - but there were some good folks as well.

I still haven't received a call, and while they did already have a ton of people lined up for hiring post-interview when I applied, Barry did kinda lie to me apparently. So that makes me question whether or not I can trust him when I asked him about negativity over me. I can't imagine there *not* being some - after all, they knew I was disgusted with my job, and they knew I was unhappy with the way some people acted down there. Besides the attendance (even if it was legitimate, and my direct supervisors knew it.) I might apply one more time next friday, as that's when my application expires. After that...hmm, maybe not worth the effort.

I wouldn't mind getting into firefighting - that's something I have interest in, and I keep in good physical shape which is an important part of that job. Although I always imagined doing it for a wage, not just volunteer - where I live, the drives to calls could get pretty tedious/expensive over time, especially without a job currently. Most of the guys doing it in Tidioute live right in town, and I think the Warren departments are salaried, so harder to get into - the ones that are volunteer are further away, of course. That's not necessarily a problem if I get a decent income going...but as I've said before, the other job opportunities here are terrible. Barely enough to afford rent and food, let alone upkeep/insurance on my vehicle and whatever else.

Is moving an option? Sure - not forever, I don't think, but for awhile that's fine. I applied to a couple different jobs for BP and Shell as well as I recall, but I was turned down (they actually sent me rejection emails - at least they didn't say I wasn't qualified.) I still wish I would've gotten just an interview with Elkhorn over winter - that gas plant operator position would've been perfect, given it included maintenance duties.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're having some improvement, and are working out again! Unsystematic messing-about with dietary changes is not very effectual, because problem foods are not eliminated for long enough to tell whether they are problem foods, and beneficial foods are not sustained long enough for the benefits to take effect.

The first step in diagnosing bowel problems is to keep an accurate Food Journal. The second step is to do a proper elimination diet for 3-6 months. There are all kinds of sites online that give specific instructions on how to do elimination diets for IBS. If you go to a doctor, this is what the doctor will tell you to do, so you might as well do it yourself before you spend the money.

If you're not ready to go that route yet, I would suggest that you:
~ drink a glass of orange juice before breakfast;
~ eat an apple before lunch and dinner;
~ eat lots of salads and vegetables, especially fermented;
~ eat plain yogurt every day;
~ take small bites and chew thoroughly;
~ avoid spicy, fatty and highly-processed foods;
~ avoid carbonated beverages and 'energy drinks';
~ avoid refined carbs (sugar and wheat flour):
~ don't drink coffee after lunchtime;
~ don't snack or drink alcohol after suppertime;
~ drink a cup of peppermint tea an hour or so before bed.

Proton pump inhibitors have serious side effects, and ALL antacid use causes bacterial overgrowth and reduced resistance to infection, so if you did have a bacterial problem, taking that stuff is not going to help, and is very likely to cause you harm. The only effective long-term treatment is rebuilding your gut microbiome.

Alas, with this economy, it seems like the only thing is to just keep relentlessly applying for every job that looks do-able, and don't brood over the ones that get away. Maybe Elkhorn is worth applying to again?

*hugs hugs* Hang in there, my friend; I hope something good comes your way soon!