Is there an argument?

[sathor]

Is there an argument that cosmetic natural selection is more brutal for men than it is for women? Controlling for fitness level, is it not easier for a woman to appear attractive because the cultural tendency has been heavy makeup to obscure asymmetry/natural complexion and highlight things like eyelashes and lips?

This idea keeps popping up every once in awhile, and I really can't find anything that has been written about it. On the surface, at least, it does seem that there's an argument appearance standards are more brutal for men in this regard - once again, not getting into fitness level and body image as a whole, because there's some arguments that body image and fitness are more brutal for women, and more lenient for men (although this is almost silly on a fundamental level, because thanks to testosterone, men have an easier time with getting and staying in shape in the first place.)

Comments

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"is it not easier for a woman to appear attractive because the cultural tendency has been heavy makeup to obscure asymmetry/natural complexion and highlight things like eyelashes and lips?"

No, it is definitely not easier. Take two people, male and female, with the same job - in a bank, say - and compare how much time, money, attention and skill each of them needs to devote to maintaining an acceptable professional appearance. The cultural tendency to demand that women devote a huge amount of their personal resources to altering their natural appearance to meet an unnatural ideal is a crushing burden, not an advantage.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

That's not the argument I'm making, though - I'm not saying it's not an undue burden to *have* to wear makeup - I'm saying that if men were able to wear it and it was culturally acceptable, a lot of men who are otherwise unattractive in the face might have a better time of it.

Maybe that's a stupid way of looking at it. I certainly meant no harm by posing the question, and I'm definitely not so ignorant as to think that the cultural expectations on women aren't ridiculous - but likewise, I am acutely aware of the expectations of men and as a man with some cosmetic issues who also can't grow a full beard, I know there's no hiding it.

I think in a way it's more or less this experience of life that I've had, in which women who are fairly close to my attractiveness can pair up with a man far more attractive than what I could manage in a woman, if for no other reason than the fact that they can, if they so choose, make themselves more appealing by virtue of cosmetic products. It's actually a pretty silly gripe - but that's why I'm not trying to gripe about it. I'm more trying to point out that the standards are skewed for men in this regard - we're basically stuck with whatever the "good lord" gave us, while women do have an opportunity to modify that a bit in a culturally acceptable fashion.

I mean no offense by any of this - it's probably coming off a bit edgy and if it is I apologize.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

No worries, young Jedi; it's a valid question. But consider this: when you say "attractive", are you not speaking only of physical appearance?

Women wear cosmetics because a woman's physical appearance is the #1 important thing about her in our society. That "You Look Disgusting" video really illustrates the cruel double-bind of cosmetics: sure, if you were a woman you could cover your acne with makeup, but then people would jeer at you for wearing too much makeup, same as they did to that poor girl. As a woman in America, it's never not about one's appearance, even in extreme old age.

"women who are fairly close to my attractiveness can pair up with a man far more attractive than what I could manage in a woman"

Um. It may be that your standards of comparison are skewed. As a straight male, you are probably not the best judge of relative male attractiveness - women generally care far less than men do about such things as hair, complexion and figure. A man can be physically beautiful, and yet unattractive for other reasons (that would probably not be apparent to a man) and thus have to date below his 'appearance-grade'. Also, y'know, tastes vary; just because you don't find a particular woman attractive, doesn't mean someone else might not think she's beautiful.

Anyway: suppose you had full societal permission to spend two hours modifying your face before ever leaving your house, so no one ever saw the 'real you', and then you met someone and started dating. What happens the first time you go to bed together? Makeup doesn't survive that, which means the first time she'd see what you really look like would be at extremely close range. There is a reason why even the most drop-dead-gorgeous women are so insecure about their looks.

Seriously, you might want to thank your lucky stars that, no matter what, society is never going to require you to spackle your face in order to be regarded as a person worthy of notice.