Power Dramas
May. 24th, 2015 03:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sathorIt's kinda interesting, to be honest - most of the people I do interact with, I can only tolerate in smallish doses (and really, given that my brain burns out on extroversion after about 3-4 hours, I guess it goes for just about anything.) My closest friends are the only real exception - I guess because we've known each other so long, judgments don't really occur and we don't really worry about each other's choices or lives unless something bad happens. Of course that always seems to go out the window with family - there's lots of people in the world who busy themselves with judging others and their life choices, no doubt, but I've always felt family can be particularly nefarious in this regard. Someone else's life is not your business...nor will it ever be. Even if they came to you for advice or help, it's still not your business - it just means they're looking to you for some insight.
Yesterday was the standard memorial day party, with the exception of my cousin who had his 30th birthday (he recently moved back from North Carolina) and my uncles as well. Since my cousin moved back, he hasn't bothered calling me once - and I didn't have his number, so it's really not my problem. But of course, it was my problem, according to him. So. Start about 6 hours of him intermittently either trying to fight me (is consistent verbal harassment indicative of that?) or attempting to improve his own self esteem and reduce my own at my expense. It doesn't really work like that for me anymore - especially after dealing with insane amounts of verbal abuse at United and throughout my whole life - but it's apparent that he's used to this working on basically everyone else. Putting him in a powerful, punisher position and reducing everyone else to the victim. Now because I'm basically non-violent I really can't be bothered to shut him up one of the only ways he can probably understand, being that he spent time in prison on a felony charge. So, I had to deal with it - whether I wanted to, or not. He's also family, whether I like it or not. There have been times when I think I could've considered him a friend - but the amount of negativity, and the expectation that everyone will live their life like him (and those that don't are wrong, different, and bad - and might as well not even exist) is exceptionally toxic. Regardless of his current circumstances, he always considers himself a leg up on everyone else - and he'll tell you that, too.
The power drama was so extreme. I really don't tolerate judgmental people well at all anymore - the idea that any amount of time could be wasted on comparing ourselves to someone else, or reducing another person to generalizations and assumptions, is absurd. Maybe it's even worse with family, because family tends to think they know you, without really knowing you - but there are plenty of people in the world who aren't family, who do just that as well.
Live and let live, eh - I think he owes me an apology, but I'm afraid I won't be getting that. He can instead just enjoy not having me in his life, I think :)
Yesterday was the standard memorial day party, with the exception of my cousin who had his 30th birthday (he recently moved back from North Carolina) and my uncles as well. Since my cousin moved back, he hasn't bothered calling me once - and I didn't have his number, so it's really not my problem. But of course, it was my problem, according to him. So. Start about 6 hours of him intermittently either trying to fight me (is consistent verbal harassment indicative of that?) or attempting to improve his own self esteem and reduce my own at my expense. It doesn't really work like that for me anymore - especially after dealing with insane amounts of verbal abuse at United and throughout my whole life - but it's apparent that he's used to this working on basically everyone else. Putting him in a powerful, punisher position and reducing everyone else to the victim. Now because I'm basically non-violent I really can't be bothered to shut him up one of the only ways he can probably understand, being that he spent time in prison on a felony charge. So, I had to deal with it - whether I wanted to, or not. He's also family, whether I like it or not. There have been times when I think I could've considered him a friend - but the amount of negativity, and the expectation that everyone will live their life like him (and those that don't are wrong, different, and bad - and might as well not even exist) is exceptionally toxic. Regardless of his current circumstances, he always considers himself a leg up on everyone else - and he'll tell you that, too.
The power drama was so extreme. I really don't tolerate judgmental people well at all anymore - the idea that any amount of time could be wasted on comparing ourselves to someone else, or reducing another person to generalizations and assumptions, is absurd. Maybe it's even worse with family, because family tends to think they know you, without really knowing you - but there are plenty of people in the world who aren't family, who do just that as well.
Live and let live, eh - I think he owes me an apology, but I'm afraid I won't be getting that. He can instead just enjoy not having me in his life, I think :)
