Grr

[sathor]

From this day forth, music, you will bow down to my will! I'm sick of being frustrated with you not doing what I want you to do!

I've spent so many years trying to figure out how to make this sound, how to process this a certain way, how to write in this fashion, and not a bit of it seems to have brought me any closer to the goal. So, I guess all that's left is to will it to happen since trying to make it happen by virtue of the "supposed" laws and physical constraints of reality doesn't seem to be working!

Comments

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Okay, so what is your Will? What exactly do you want the music to do?

What if you were to stop trying to make it do anything at all, and just play it - focus on not getting in the way of what it wants to do through you; duct-tape your Rational Mind's big mouth shut and let *you* live fully in your hands, your ears and your emotions while you play. Make YOUR sound; process YOUR way; write in your own fashion.

(ack, late; more later! *hugs*)

[sathor.livejournal.com]

I don't think I missed this one, but never got around to responding:

Keeping it short (don't feel a need to respond - you've got plenty on your plate and this is old news)

I totally agree with what your saying, although the frustration tends to set in fairly quickly when I just let go. It can work for small segments of a piece, but the bigger picture always gets lost. I'm very good at making short-lived sequences and tunes. But I have a hard time getting it all to be cohesive as a whole.

But art really should come from a place of feeling - and I do believe you're right. I'm just not sure giving fully in to my intuitive self is going to necessarily lead me to professionalism :P