Sigh

[sathor]

Last night was horrible. ive never had such a horrible time getting to sleep in my life. First i just phased out like i sometimes do for maybe a half hour or so, then i came back and the hard realization that i have no one left set in. I took a look at all my friends, and weighed who was worth keeping. In the end, it came up that none really were real friends, and that they all are just lying to me. *sigh* realization sucks, bad. If i wouldnt have taken the time to think about it i wouldnt have gotten so depressed last night. I just layed in my bed for hours wanting to cry, but i couldnt. I didnt even have the will power to let it out in tears. I guess things like this eat away at my innards, until they finally get to me. Today i just tried to indulge in the ways of the normal person, making jokes, laughing. But thats not who i am. My real self and the one that everyone else see's are largely different.