Lorazepam

[sathor]

For the sake of science, and because I lack any other means of altering my consciousness at the moment, I intend on trying a much higher dose of Lorazepam (a generic form of Ativan) than generally suggested. Doing some research on Erowid helped me make some guidelines for myself:

A 130lb male much smaller than me took 5.5mg of lorazepam and ended up in the hospital, due to low blood oxygenation levels. That would be 12 of these tiny fuckers, which is ludicrous to begin with. I actually tried 4 yesterday (a dose of 2mg) and it literally had NO effect. Lorazepam/Ativan is used in treating anxiety, and if this next experiment doesn't grant any real noticeable effects, then I'll have to assume I no longer suffer from (or never did suffer from) anxiety. Preeettty interesting.

A 160lb girl (she weighs about as much as me, although shorter) took 2mg of Lorazepam and basically had hallucinations. I don't know wtf was wrong with her, honestly.

It is SUPPOSED to make you more extroverted. In fact, I actually found myself less inclined to want to do ANYTHING when I took the dose yesterday. I will likely try a couple before a real "outing" as well, to see if I notice any differences. It's actually pretty easy to get it prescribed, and after hearing about the research regarding depressing/anxiety and the loss of brain cells in an important part of the brain (related to memory) I am more inclined to be interested in medicating. There is some evidence that the drugs can help regrow the lost cells as well, although the documentary I watched seemed to lean towards "the longer you go without treatment, the more permanent the damage." Meditation grows brain cells in that area too...makes sense that I was a much happier individual when I regularly did so.

Today I may try six of them, a dose of 3mg (six times recommended.) It is rather high, but not dangerous by any means.

I'll probably start with four at once, and make sure I don't have any adverse reactions. Then try another two.

The only issue with this whole direction I'm feeling is that I'm still very cautious about anti-depressants/psychotics and the effect they could have on creativity, being that there's some evidence the dopamine receptors in creative individuals are similar to those in schizophrenics...

I will probably write an experience report for Erowid and also post it here, if I do it (and something identifiable occurs.) Actually, I think I'll get some sleep before that, so it won't be for awhile.

Comments

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

errrr how long have you been taking this stuff? if you're new to using it I'd suggest sticking to your prescribed dose for a bit.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

I'm not prescribed it. I have access to a wide array of mind altering substances, generally, one way or another.

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

I love pharmacy drugs :D

[sathor.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! Yeah, Pharmacy drugs are perty awesome. I like pain killers probably a little -too- much, to be honest. It tells me I should avoid heroin at all costs.

But really, I'm not prescribed anything, ever, except for dealing with infections. I have access to drugs through other people.

However, it's like I said...regarding Ativan, just a general medical practicioner can give you that (just like they could give you almost all kinds of pain killers.) They're just way less knowledgable and more lax about handing out the former. I've never been given pain killers by a doc before.

[noximist.livejournal.com]

There is nothing about lorazepam that would make a person more extroverted, except possibly indirectly, via lowered inhibitions; it's a strong anticonvulsant/sedative, so a higher dose will either knock you out or turn you into a puddle on the couch. One of its side effects is anterograde amnesia, and the chances of that occurring rise along with the dose, so there's also a good chance you won't remember half of what you did. Its primary use outside of a proper medical setting is as a date rape drug, you know.

Ativan's not a drug to fuck with, for several reasons. It works on anxiety by enhancing GABA receptors, and there's very little direct recreational value in doing that; most drugs that induce euphoria or increased sociability work on the dopamine and/or seratonin systems. At a therapeutic dose, Ativan makes an anxiety sufferer feel normal, not enhanced.

Most doctors won't prescribe you benzodiazepenes unless you have an obvious need for them, and even then they'll argue. I've had to fight tooth and nail to retain my Ativan prescription, and that's with several psychologists' recommendations that I have it. The potential for tolerance and dependence is extreme, which is the other reason trying to abuse this drug for recreational purposes is a bad idea. Benzos are better than barbiturates because overdose is a lot less likely to kill you, but they're much more addictive. If you have problems with liking painkillers, you're at significant risk if you don't take Ativan as prescribed. Given that you're not prescribed it, well, tread lightly.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

I am glad to see that you didn't disappear.

The Erowid experience vault for Lorazepam is relatively sparse, and I'd like to give back to a community that has been both a huge influence as well as a big help in keeping me using mind-altering substances responsibly and safely. That is the sole reason - besides a morbid curiosity about whether or not I will feel different in social settings after having taken Ativan - for me performing this experiment...which won't even be commencing until tonight. In actuality if there is no difference in a social setting I will know that either A: I am simply an introvert and there's probably very little I can do about that or B: I may have stunted social skill development and it'll be something I need to work on and note for the future.

Of course it takes two to tango regardless, eh?

But if I suffer from anxiety, one should assume that taking an anti-anxiety medication will result in a more extroverted attitude because one is not so anxious. At least that's the logic I'm running on, correct me if I'm wrong.

Now let me ask you something, do you think I warrant a visit to a psychologist? You've got more experience with them than me, eh...