sathor | You silly, silly person

Quite convinced I have known susan in a past life. Last night was crazy. When I'm around her I feel in ways I've never quite felt before, or at least so intensely. Her energy is cold and purely feminine, yin. Mine is hot and purely masculine, yang. And when she touches me it's like electricity running through my entire body. She must be absolutely ancient.

There is so much that occurs between us, on so many levels...it is not just physical attraction, it is metaphysical as well...it is spiritual, outside the sphere of material reality. It's on as sub-atomic level.

This is what fate feels like when you have aligned yourself with it.

But I am afraid, because I fear that even this will be impermanent...but I have to accept that.

Five hours of touching and closeness, talking and exchanging energy and recognizing who we are, intense arousal with no release...I felt so high afterwards.

She is absolutely fucking amazing.

Another odd job besides the ditch digging showed up...I'll need to go talk to Emily about it. Her and Amy invited Susan and I to a bon fire last night, but when we got back to her place things got too heavy for that. I saw red in her aura and lightning in her body...and she said she felt impure, but I think it's not a matter of impurity...I think she's not familiar with these feelings yet...I'm not quite either.

Without a full time, year round job I will not be able to stay for much longer. Susan knows this, but she still wants to grow closer and closer. I think she loves me. I think I love her. And that is frightening, because although I feel like I have known her for many lifetimes, in truth, in this life, we have only met just recently.

I thought I couldn't even feel love like this anymore.