I'm not sure why

[sathor]

I look back to the life I led before, and I'm really not sure why I hated you so much. I know I had valid reason...I know that cheating is never acceptable - it takes a strong, good, worthy person to do the right thing instead of cheating, and that doesn't include sticking with something you no longer want either. But my anger was absolutely unnecessary - you already hated yourself enough. I am not a perfect man, and I never was, and I never will be, not in my looks, or in my actions, or in the way I talk, write, interact, or even in the way I do what I do. Neither are you or were you a perfect woman.

I am sorry for denying myself the right to love you forever, like I always promised. I shoved everything I had felt, seen and experienced with you down and away because I couldn't bare to gaze upon it. But the pain has dwindled leaving only the beauty of it all. I could never be your friend, but I know I will always love and care about you. You weren't better than me or worse, I always saw you as an equal the way it should be. And for the men in your future, I hope you come across one that is better suited to your personality and more capable of handling your imperfections. I can only hope that there is someone for you, just as I pray that there is someone for me.

Comments

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

Amazing post.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

Had a dream about her and I needed to get it out. I think I'll probably miss her until someone else wants to do the things we did together.

But in the dream we got back together...a big part of it though was the tenseness i felt and worrying about being held back from achieving my dreams. Not really sure getting into a relationship is a good idea right now, even if the opportunity came up.

I'm glad you like it...it seems kinda silly to me. I'm sure most people would find the way I write pretty stupid, way too "old-fashioned, classical author" style