Decade Meme
Dec. 30th, 2009 05:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sathor2000: I was in Seventh Grade in HighSchool. Twelve/Thirteen Years Old. This is when I "woke up," so to speak, to the esoteric and eastern philosophy. I was studying forms of esoteric religion as well, this is somewhat the beginning of that path. 7th Grade.
2001: Thirteen/Fourteen. I hadn't hit my goth phase yet, that was the following year. I think I met Matt somewhere around this time. 8th Grade.
2002: Fourteen/Fifteen. I dyed my hair black for the first time. I got my first kiss, by a girl four years older than me. 9th Grade.
2003: Fifteen/Sixteen. Managed to get my heart broken. It was 10th grade, so I met Mr. Craig for the first time. He pushed me right into Philosophy.
2004: Sixteen/Seventeen. Met Val late this year I think. School was shut down, and I went to Youngsville for almost two months. I finished that year in an online homeschool.
2005: Seventeen/Eighteen. Graduated from online home school. Went straight to JCC. Val left me early 2006, I think, into my second semester.
2006: This summer I met a girl and reacquainted myself with Cookie. I ended up going choosing Cookie, because I had much, much stronger feelings for her. The last half of the year was probably the best I ever had. I was DJing at the time as well.
2007: Cookie graduated and worked at Tippy Canoe. I was a bit paranoid about her working in a bar...I guess my intuitions were right, eventually. There was lots of drama with her workplace. I don't think she was telling me everything about what was going on there and at home with her grandparents. I didn't attend her graduation...mostly because I remembered how shitty all of the ones I went too were. I graduate from JCC in five semesters this winter.
2008: Things started going really downhill this year. Cookie left me a few days before my birthday in August, the culmination of months of hell that she put me through emotionally. I remember getting a steak dinner at a restaurant in the middle of nowhere at the place that houses the yearly rodeo for my twenty-first - just with family. Had my first legal beer. The connection with my old circle of friends was annihilated by my relationship with her. Only Matt remained. I got my first full time job at the mill. I was laid off at the end of October, after only working for a couple months. It was the hardest thing I ever did, the workload combined with what I was going through emotionally day in day out.
2009: I was rehired at the mill early in the year. I worked full time until August. I was laid off a couple times, but not for nearly as long. I was slowly healing from what I went through emotionally...I had already had my heart broken three times in the past ten years, each time just as completely mindblowing. In general, I'd say it took me a little over a year to heal from each one completely, which means there was overlap between Val and Cookie. I feel sorry for putting her through the pain I did, but I didn't deserve the end result. I'm finally starting to be satisfied with what I'm doing musically. But I know I need more learning if I'm to be an intellectual. 2009 was a year of reflection, although looking back, I didn't reflect much on my experiences of the further past. I was overly focused on the past couple years...I can barely remember what went on with Val...I know that it was the best relationship I ever had, she was the best girl I could have ever asked for, and that it all ended in a flash I will never understand...and unfortunately, she doesn't either...or refuses to tell me the truth.
2010: I will be attending college in the fall. Doesn't matter where, or how. I'll get the money if I have to take it all out in loans and defer until graduation. If I have to start over, I will. If I end up useless to society after wards - so be it. I am no longer planning ahead. I am experiencing the now as fully as I can. There are many paths I may take afterwards, one of which includes pursuing the Truth as a Buddhist as fully as I possibly can. But I will never give up on music.
2001: Thirteen/Fourteen. I hadn't hit my goth phase yet, that was the following year. I think I met Matt somewhere around this time. 8th Grade.
2002: Fourteen/Fifteen. I dyed my hair black for the first time. I got my first kiss, by a girl four years older than me. 9th Grade.
2003: Fifteen/Sixteen. Managed to get my heart broken. It was 10th grade, so I met Mr. Craig for the first time. He pushed me right into Philosophy.
2004: Sixteen/Seventeen. Met Val late this year I think. School was shut down, and I went to Youngsville for almost two months. I finished that year in an online homeschool.
2005: Seventeen/Eighteen. Graduated from online home school. Went straight to JCC. Val left me early 2006, I think, into my second semester.
2006: This summer I met a girl and reacquainted myself with Cookie. I ended up going choosing Cookie, because I had much, much stronger feelings for her. The last half of the year was probably the best I ever had. I was DJing at the time as well.
2007: Cookie graduated and worked at Tippy Canoe. I was a bit paranoid about her working in a bar...I guess my intuitions were right, eventually. There was lots of drama with her workplace. I don't think she was telling me everything about what was going on there and at home with her grandparents. I didn't attend her graduation...mostly because I remembered how shitty all of the ones I went too were. I graduate from JCC in five semesters this winter.
2008: Things started going really downhill this year. Cookie left me a few days before my birthday in August, the culmination of months of hell that she put me through emotionally. I remember getting a steak dinner at a restaurant in the middle of nowhere at the place that houses the yearly rodeo for my twenty-first - just with family. Had my first legal beer. The connection with my old circle of friends was annihilated by my relationship with her. Only Matt remained. I got my first full time job at the mill. I was laid off at the end of October, after only working for a couple months. It was the hardest thing I ever did, the workload combined with what I was going through emotionally day in day out.
2009: I was rehired at the mill early in the year. I worked full time until August. I was laid off a couple times, but not for nearly as long. I was slowly healing from what I went through emotionally...I had already had my heart broken three times in the past ten years, each time just as completely mindblowing. In general, I'd say it took me a little over a year to heal from each one completely, which means there was overlap between Val and Cookie. I feel sorry for putting her through the pain I did, but I didn't deserve the end result. I'm finally starting to be satisfied with what I'm doing musically. But I know I need more learning if I'm to be an intellectual. 2009 was a year of reflection, although looking back, I didn't reflect much on my experiences of the further past. I was overly focused on the past couple years...I can barely remember what went on with Val...I know that it was the best relationship I ever had, she was the best girl I could have ever asked for, and that it all ended in a flash I will never understand...and unfortunately, she doesn't either...or refuses to tell me the truth.
2010: I will be attending college in the fall. Doesn't matter where, or how. I'll get the money if I have to take it all out in loans and defer until graduation. If I have to start over, I will. If I end up useless to society after wards - so be it. I am no longer planning ahead. I am experiencing the now as fully as I can. There are many paths I may take afterwards, one of which includes pursuing the Truth as a Buddhist as fully as I possibly can. But I will never give up on music.
