(no subject)

I'm not sure I can live a life as I have. At some point, this will be too much to bear without significant change. And I'm running out of strength to produce that change. People in this world want me to be happy because my unhappiness is a virus...they want me to be better with people because my social awkwardness is a flaw everyone sees and has to deal with. I feel like I have no home. I feel like I have no safety zone.

I'm so tired of trying to please. I can't be anyone but myself, and that's not good enough. I'm not a bad person...but that's not good enough. I love with all of my heart, but that's not good enough.

Someday this will be the end of me. The compassion of this world exists only insofar as it serves the individuals, or the society's ideals.