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May. 18th, 2014 09:25 pmI'm trying to quit smoking again - I've gone all day without one, and while I'm still using chewing tobacco sparingly (I've done this at work off and on since I started in heavy industry at the lumber mill) I feel pretty good about this time. I only had one really bad craving today, and that was after my work out. Just as they say, it didn't last longer than five minutes.
Last summer I quit for two months, and after about two weeks it was like stepping into a different reality - all of my senses seemed to become heightened...even my eyesight improved when I wasn't wearing glasses, but it's the smells really...smells are like a whole different dimension that is easily forgotten when you smoke for a decade. I wish I would've stuck with the program, but I screwed up...I want to believe this time I can do it for good, because I want my lung capacity back, and I want my cardio back, and I know smoking is linked with inflammatory illness...and I have a lot of issues with that, too, it seems.
I read more H2HC today. It really is an amazing book...I just hope I can retain and use it well. Ever since college ended, I've felt like my ability to retain information has fallen off sharply...could be a sign of mental disorder or dementia, or it could just be that I'm not being engaged or tested on the material at all...which reduces the number of times I "bring up" the short term information in my brain, and thus, reduces the amount of it that ends up in long term storage. Bringing this up does make me worry, though - I still, from time to time, see myself as having a very "disconnected" thought process. It's not at the level of full blown schizophrenia or schizoid personality disorder, but there's definitely some odd neural and synaptic connections, and I've been well known for most of my life for connecting two very distantly related ideas (to me, they are often incredibly similar...be it metaphorically or literally...but to most people, it's simply incomprehensible. It's exhausting trying to explain out HOW they are connected, though, and at times, I worry that they really aren't.)
Weekend was uneventful except for a couple drinks at the bar and a campfire last night - I had some decent conversation and enjoyed the play. No women involved, just men, and maybe that's a good thing. My mind gets way tied up if there's ladies around.
Last summer I quit for two months, and after about two weeks it was like stepping into a different reality - all of my senses seemed to become heightened...even my eyesight improved when I wasn't wearing glasses, but it's the smells really...smells are like a whole different dimension that is easily forgotten when you smoke for a decade. I wish I would've stuck with the program, but I screwed up...I want to believe this time I can do it for good, because I want my lung capacity back, and I want my cardio back, and I know smoking is linked with inflammatory illness...and I have a lot of issues with that, too, it seems.
I read more H2HC today. It really is an amazing book...I just hope I can retain and use it well. Ever since college ended, I've felt like my ability to retain information has fallen off sharply...could be a sign of mental disorder or dementia, or it could just be that I'm not being engaged or tested on the material at all...which reduces the number of times I "bring up" the short term information in my brain, and thus, reduces the amount of it that ends up in long term storage. Bringing this up does make me worry, though - I still, from time to time, see myself as having a very "disconnected" thought process. It's not at the level of full blown schizophrenia or schizoid personality disorder, but there's definitely some odd neural and synaptic connections, and I've been well known for most of my life for connecting two very distantly related ideas (to me, they are often incredibly similar...be it metaphorically or literally...but to most people, it's simply incomprehensible. It's exhausting trying to explain out HOW they are connected, though, and at times, I worry that they really aren't.)
Weekend was uneventful except for a couple drinks at the bar and a campfire last night - I had some decent conversation and enjoyed the play. No women involved, just men, and maybe that's a good thing. My mind gets way tied up if there's ladies around.
