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It seems to me
Dec. 8th, 2010 03:39 pmThat murder, rape, poverty, starvation all pale in comparison to the harsh reality that is. Billions of people, incapable of ever escaping their own fates, written in stone as a result of their genetic heritage, their geographic locations on birth, their parental influences, their opportunities for experience and exploration from a young age - the most important time of all.
I am not the focus of this writing. Even if I were to escape, there would be oh so many who can't be saved. Those billions wish they were someone else, and they can never be.
Whatever heartache that I experienced from my failed relationships does not even amount to one percent of the ache that I feel for these people...and for myself. My heart is broken, not because of the scorn of women, but because of what I have seen around me. To know that the hopes and dreams of countless scores have and will never be realized is the most harrowing realization of my entire life to this day.
Furthermore it appears to me that there is no solution. It is almost enraging to recognize that if there is a Divine Will, this is it. Billions of souls who have and will die never achieving their most sacred of aims, and leading their lives always at the will of their circumstances, mother nature...which they can never truly influence. I am in a boat of tears with Nietzsche, because I believe - like him and other philosophers before me - that there is no such thing as free will. My heart grows even darker with despair, a prospect that I once believed could not be possible.
Reflecting on my life, short by the terms of many so far, the problems and difficulties of the past seem always in the shadow of those I come to know in the present. And I must ask myself if this cycle will end before I myself am at an end.
I am not the focus of this writing. Even if I were to escape, there would be oh so many who can't be saved. Those billions wish they were someone else, and they can never be.
Whatever heartache that I experienced from my failed relationships does not even amount to one percent of the ache that I feel for these people...and for myself. My heart is broken, not because of the scorn of women, but because of what I have seen around me. To know that the hopes and dreams of countless scores have and will never be realized is the most harrowing realization of my entire life to this day.
Furthermore it appears to me that there is no solution. It is almost enraging to recognize that if there is a Divine Will, this is it. Billions of souls who have and will die never achieving their most sacred of aims, and leading their lives always at the will of their circumstances, mother nature...which they can never truly influence. I am in a boat of tears with Nietzsche, because I believe - like him and other philosophers before me - that there is no such thing as free will. My heart grows even darker with despair, a prospect that I once believed could not be possible.
Reflecting on my life, short by the terms of many so far, the problems and difficulties of the past seem always in the shadow of those I come to know in the present. And I must ask myself if this cycle will end before I myself am at an end.
