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This is why.
May. 3rd, 2010 01:15 pmThis is why I don't bother hanging out with this particular group anymore. I simply don't fucking care.
The only person that provides any sort of decent conversation besides "what are you doing" or "aren't you bored all the time?" or "why aren't you working?" or "why can't you sacrifice a day on the weekend for us?" or "WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY IF YOU AREN'T WORKING IN MY MIND YOU ARE WORTHLESS" is Cass, and precisely BECAUSE she starts in talking with me immediately -I- feel weird. You have a husband. Why are you looking to me for intellectual stimulation? Why do I have to feel like you are paying more attention to me than to him, and why do I even fucking bother? It's also annoying as hell to be interrupted WHEN in an intellectual discussion, no one else in the room even paying attention, or possibly even capable of adding something meaningful to it...instead just changing the subject matter to something boring. Yes, lets all play Soul Caliber 3 instead of looking at each other's faces and discussing things that go on in the real world. I know you were intentionally interrupting us Mark and I don't fucking appreciate it. I understand you are her husband but I'm no fucking threat to you, I've no fucking interest in probably a single one of the many women you've been with in your life.
I don't mind a little bit of gaming, fine, but in general if I'm out and about it's because I want to interact with people not play video games. This is why I didn't join your role playing group. It's not interesting anymore for me to be doing those sorts of things.
Oh, and hey, saying "that's awful" because I'm learning sheet music from a world-reknown composer who just so happened to write the music for a number of top-selling role-playing games, just because you made choices in your life to prevent you from really pursuing what you love...is not fucking fair to me one fucking bit. I haven't had sex in over two fucking years, I MADE SOME FUCKING SACRIFICES.
----
And for the calmer explanation.
I didn't necessarily have a terrible time but the point is that #1 they kept trying to force feed me alcohol and they knew I had to drive.
#2 I didn't feel like it was very fair to me for so many questions to be asked about my private life, which is nobodies fucking business unless I decide to make it so.
#3 I didn't go down there to play games I went down there to talk to people I haven't seen in awhile, which didn't really happen much. I got my ass kicked at Soul Caliber 3 - I don't play consoles anymore and I haven't for years...
#4 Like I said above, Cass was the only one really -talking- with me about things, and that really made me feel uncomfortable. This happens every time. I enjoy talking to her but I know it alienates her husband and I don't want to be a part of that. Also he always ends up making himself feel better by making sure to ask questions he already knows the answers to. Yes, I know you are management and you don't even have a GED or HS diploma. Good for you. I don't want a part in that fucking world. If I do anything I'll work for the state, teach, or go back to the mill and bust my ass every day because blood, sweat and tears is how I earn respect for myself. Or hey, maybe I'll just do what I've been doing because honestly I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I don't!
I like who I am, and I like the way I can develop as a person without a mind-numbing, ridiculously time consuming job. There aren't enough jobs to support the whole population of the US even right now so I am letting someone else who wants to work more than I do, and who needs it more than I do, have that fucking honor. Stop having children maybe then I'll get a job.
The only person that provides any sort of decent conversation besides "what are you doing" or "aren't you bored all the time?" or "why aren't you working?" or "why can't you sacrifice a day on the weekend for us?" or "WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY IF YOU AREN'T WORKING IN MY MIND YOU ARE WORTHLESS" is Cass, and precisely BECAUSE she starts in talking with me immediately -I- feel weird. You have a husband. Why are you looking to me for intellectual stimulation? Why do I have to feel like you are paying more attention to me than to him, and why do I even fucking bother? It's also annoying as hell to be interrupted WHEN in an intellectual discussion, no one else in the room even paying attention, or possibly even capable of adding something meaningful to it...instead just changing the subject matter to something boring. Yes, lets all play Soul Caliber 3 instead of looking at each other's faces and discussing things that go on in the real world. I know you were intentionally interrupting us Mark and I don't fucking appreciate it. I understand you are her husband but I'm no fucking threat to you, I've no fucking interest in probably a single one of the many women you've been with in your life.
I don't mind a little bit of gaming, fine, but in general if I'm out and about it's because I want to interact with people not play video games. This is why I didn't join your role playing group. It's not interesting anymore for me to be doing those sorts of things.
Oh, and hey, saying "that's awful" because I'm learning sheet music from a world-reknown composer who just so happened to write the music for a number of top-selling role-playing games, just because you made choices in your life to prevent you from really pursuing what you love...is not fucking fair to me one fucking bit. I haven't had sex in over two fucking years, I MADE SOME FUCKING SACRIFICES.
----
And for the calmer explanation.
I didn't necessarily have a terrible time but the point is that #1 they kept trying to force feed me alcohol and they knew I had to drive.
#2 I didn't feel like it was very fair to me for so many questions to be asked about my private life, which is nobodies fucking business unless I decide to make it so.
#3 I didn't go down there to play games I went down there to talk to people I haven't seen in awhile, which didn't really happen much. I got my ass kicked at Soul Caliber 3 - I don't play consoles anymore and I haven't for years...
#4 Like I said above, Cass was the only one really -talking- with me about things, and that really made me feel uncomfortable. This happens every time. I enjoy talking to her but I know it alienates her husband and I don't want to be a part of that. Also he always ends up making himself feel better by making sure to ask questions he already knows the answers to. Yes, I know you are management and you don't even have a GED or HS diploma. Good for you. I don't want a part in that fucking world. If I do anything I'll work for the state, teach, or go back to the mill and bust my ass every day because blood, sweat and tears is how I earn respect for myself. Or hey, maybe I'll just do what I've been doing because honestly I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I don't!
I like who I am, and I like the way I can develop as a person without a mind-numbing, ridiculously time consuming job. There aren't enough jobs to support the whole population of the US even right now so I am letting someone else who wants to work more than I do, and who needs it more than I do, have that fucking honor. Stop having children maybe then I'll get a job.
