(no subject)

Remind me to keep running every other day.

Man, it makes me feel so relaxed.

I'll save the off days for pushups, situps and weight training.

(no subject)

Men aren't taught to moisturize in hick-ville rural pennsylvania, and I'm becoming very fucking fond of it. Besides reducing the irritation in my t-zone it makes my face feel -so- much better.

According to more of the research I've been doing what I call "scarring" is actually PIH or post inflammatory hyperpigmentation. It is -not- permanent. The only scars I have that will end up permanent are apparently the few icepick scars i have on my cheeks. I've always kinda liked them myself, so I'm really not too worried.

Of course the PIH takes varied amounts of time to go away, and because I only recently conquered my acne according to what I've been reading it could be over a year before they are back to my normal skin tone. I haven't -seen- my face completely normal in years...hopefully by the time summer rolls around there will be a huge difference and I'll be happy with my outward appearance.
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One of my sister's old friends stopped by today, with two small children in tow. Something about having children around ignites the magic in my world, and according to few female friends I have with kids, I'm really good with them. Someday I hope I have the opportunity to have kids of my own, really...I don't think my life will be complete without them. Their mother left the room for a bit and the young boy started crying, and I just started talking to him. He looked me right in the eyes and stopped immediately. I seem to have a knack for it all, too bad I can't find a worthwhile partner...but I guess I'm not exactly financially stable enough to warrant that currently either. I suppose I'd like another decade or so before doing that whole deal...but I think I'd like to get into the relationship that leads there within the next few years...bleh...

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And I've secured a bottle of liquor, this ought to last me a few days. Ha Ha Ha

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Totally in another slump. Back to sound designing, experimenting with production and avoiding composing completely.

Oh, and by the way. The vocals in obscurity are totally fucked. Way, way, way wrong. I honestly have no idea how I didn't notice it before. Seriously. Can't stand to listen to it anymore. Either stripping the vocals and rewriting them or leaving it as an instrumental. The chorus is tolerable but only because it's so full spectrally.

(no subject)

I have absolutely nothing to say, really.

Beginning to feel like I'm going to have to sacrifice some dreams of mine to ever live a happy, fulfilling life.

Problem is I'm not too sure that's even possible at this point, mainly because I think life is just one giant joke. I mean, I know it is, fundamentally...there's only two conceivable reasons I am here, one is that there is no God and I'm just an accident of chance, the other is that I'm supposed to be learning something so eventually "I" can cease to exist and live in eternal bliss as one with God. Every religion pretty much adheres to that conception.

So ultimately, I'm really pissed off I wasn't born as one of those top 5-10% guys that can have all the fun they want, because either way they're learning and having fun, or going to die and enter oblivion just the same. I don't really see the benefit in someone having to live through hell to have the same end as another.

What would be good is if every undesirable person didn't have offspring. Eventually, the world would only consist of desirable people, and then at least the future would be secured as a wonderful, happy place.

Seems selfish for people to try and create anything other than that.