Argh.

Hmm...

I'm horribly depressed, and I don't know why.

This is the first time I don't have a reason to be.

This is also the first time i've considered going to see a psychiatrist or something.

But...problem being there, they'd think i'm a delusional idiot for my beliefs, as well as my parents don't have the kinda money to pay for something like that...i'm not going to drain their pockets anymore than i already do...

So...i don't know what's going to happen. If i can get through one more day of school I have a weekend.

I need it.

Why you might ask? Well, the ritual i'm going to have to complete to summon a demon for a certain deed is kinda complex.

I was going to put down what i'm supposed to do, but fuck that. I don't need to be teaching people how to perform rituals. Especially since some idiot kid could get him/herself into some serious spiritual trouble.

Anyway, either i can summon a demon or try to cut the bond myself. I'd honestly rather have another, stronger, creature do it for me, but a demon is going to want something in return. Diabolerie is all i have as an option to give at the moment...and am i strong enough magickally to carry out the banishing of one of the demon's arch enemies...

I doubt it.

So hmm...what the hell am i going to do.

Draining her didn't work. I think it just provoked her because i've been about three times as down since i tried that.