Screwing with people?
Nov. 27th, 2009 11:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sathorWent to Grumpy's last night with Matt, Brent showed up shortly thereafter. It was the first time I had been in there - it's a really nice, upscale place. Best bar I've seen in this entire area.
The bartender carded both of us and stood there flirting for about 5 minutes. She didn't take our money for our first beers - how do you like that?
But here's the screwy part.
I was discussing with Matt recently how it's possible he's just a schizophrenic delusion (This isn't really possible - although I am slightly paranoid, I'm not a schizophrenic. This would be like -reverse- schizophrenia, anyway.)
Well, he keeps egging me on pointing out all of these reasons why I can't determine empirically tonight that he's real. The bartender comes back over and he says something to her about this little problem I'm having. I look her right in the eyes, point my finger to my left and whisper, "He's real, right?" She kinda smirks and nods. What really started it all is her quoting from Fight Club and Matt just going off about that. She said, "You have some really fucked up friends." to me.
Well, what am I supposed to make of that? I almost think she was telling the truth. I don't feel like going out with Matt is the right thing to do anymore, I really don't. I'd rather go out by myself. I feel like no matter where I am, regardless of the people around me, he makes it that much more difficult for me to meet new people...not to mention it seems to be a general consensus he's an asshole. Sometimes I think when I'm with my old friends, I close up like I used to in high school. And I guess, the other problem is even on the rare instance that I feel like talking to a girl, if he's around I don't - because I assume he'll butt right in and try to take over the situation. Which is probably accurate - he thinks every girl that ever liked me, liked him. Might be true, but they wouldn't have been doing themselves any favors by going after him...but I guess they were all stupid, anyway. Says a lot about what I attract, doesn't it?
The bartender carded both of us and stood there flirting for about 5 minutes. She didn't take our money for our first beers - how do you like that?
But here's the screwy part.
I was discussing with Matt recently how it's possible he's just a schizophrenic delusion (This isn't really possible - although I am slightly paranoid, I'm not a schizophrenic. This would be like -reverse- schizophrenia, anyway.)
Well, he keeps egging me on pointing out all of these reasons why I can't determine empirically tonight that he's real. The bartender comes back over and he says something to her about this little problem I'm having. I look her right in the eyes, point my finger to my left and whisper, "He's real, right?" She kinda smirks and nods. What really started it all is her quoting from Fight Club and Matt just going off about that. She said, "You have some really fucked up friends." to me.
Well, what am I supposed to make of that? I almost think she was telling the truth. I don't feel like going out with Matt is the right thing to do anymore, I really don't. I'd rather go out by myself. I feel like no matter where I am, regardless of the people around me, he makes it that much more difficult for me to meet new people...not to mention it seems to be a general consensus he's an asshole. Sometimes I think when I'm with my old friends, I close up like I used to in high school. And I guess, the other problem is even on the rare instance that I feel like talking to a girl, if he's around I don't - because I assume he'll butt right in and try to take over the situation. Which is probably accurate - he thinks every girl that ever liked me, liked him. Might be true, but they wouldn't have been doing themselves any favors by going after him...but I guess they were all stupid, anyway. Says a lot about what I attract, doesn't it?
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Date: 2009-11-28 07:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-28 07:56 am (UTC)But, it doesn't really matter...fuck, ever single bar in this entire area is 75% male to female ratio, and you never see girls by themselves. Last night I saw -one- and it looked like she just got off working as a nurse (still had her blue clothes on.) I would've started talking to her, she was really quiet and by herself, but you know why I didn't from the above entry. I watched Matt actually brush a conversation starter by her off. He's a shallow bastard. She was pretty - but not the kind of "I want attention" pretty, and I think she probably had some kind of clue about reality, ya know?
Sucks. But hey, it's not like she tried starting a conversation with me. She probably would've shrugged me off anyway...girls hate me without even having conversation. Ugh. I hate my life.