Sick Feeling
Oct. 25th, 2009 05:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sathorEncrypted:
Went to C (female) & M (male)s house, first night drunk off of homemade wine. Spend the whole night after everyone else crashed talking to C, sickening feeling begins.
Second night, drunk off Absinthe. Spend the whole night after everyone else crashed talking to M, and the sickening feeling intensifies. Smoke a joint so I can prove to M that it has no ill effect, he is thoroughly amazed.
C brought up our past.
M let me know he treated her like shit/cheated on her a lot/etc. before his "morals caught up to him" and he asked for many second chances. Direct quote,
"She said to me, I don't like you, I don't want to be with you, but we'll give this a shot." (C already pregnant with the first child at this point)
M #2 barely there and more distant than usual.
Direct quote from C the night before,
"You know why I stopped talking to you, right? I didn't have a home, I was living on the streets, I only had a single set of clothes."
I said,
"I forgave you a long time ago, I don't know why we're going here"
"I know you forgave me, and I respect you so much for that"
She also said,
"How old are you now, Jake?"
"22."
"Finally not so much of an age difference, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess not."
I'm sick over this. They want me to be a regular in their role playing group. I feel so uncomfortable now because of what they both said to me. I could've handled one of them saying secretive things like that, but not both of them.
I didn't even think it would end up going there. I didn't think going down there would lead to any of the fucking past being dug up. It's been 8 fucking years, and evidently it still crosses her mind. Before, a year or two or three or four ago, they never told me the intimate details. The timeline was that M was cheating while she was pregnant with the first, and quite possibly after birth. I don't know if C knows. I don't know if M knows C and I were an item at one time. I don't know if M knows it still crosses Cs mind.
I don't know what C was trying to get across to me.
This is all very painful.
***EDIT***
One other thing
M #2, the second night, was pushing his brother in law to go have sex with his sister, i mean, vocally saying this out loud. This added further uncomfortability, I don't know if it's normal for him to act that way with them (I haven't seen it) but I know I would never, you know, cheer a brother in law of mine on to go have sex with my sister. The whole two nights were fucking surreal, and I think I'm going to have to file this under, "weird shit I really don't want to try to understand" and just concentrate on getting the fuck out of here.
Went to C (female) & M (male)s house, first night drunk off of homemade wine. Spend the whole night after everyone else crashed talking to C, sickening feeling begins.
Second night, drunk off Absinthe. Spend the whole night after everyone else crashed talking to M, and the sickening feeling intensifies. Smoke a joint so I can prove to M that it has no ill effect, he is thoroughly amazed.
C brought up our past.
M let me know he treated her like shit/cheated on her a lot/etc. before his "morals caught up to him" and he asked for many second chances. Direct quote,
"She said to me, I don't like you, I don't want to be with you, but we'll give this a shot." (C already pregnant with the first child at this point)
M #2 barely there and more distant than usual.
Direct quote from C the night before,
"You know why I stopped talking to you, right? I didn't have a home, I was living on the streets, I only had a single set of clothes."
I said,
"I forgave you a long time ago, I don't know why we're going here"
"I know you forgave me, and I respect you so much for that"
She also said,
"How old are you now, Jake?"
"22."
"Finally not so much of an age difference, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess not."
I'm sick over this. They want me to be a regular in their role playing group. I feel so uncomfortable now because of what they both said to me. I could've handled one of them saying secretive things like that, but not both of them.
I didn't even think it would end up going there. I didn't think going down there would lead to any of the fucking past being dug up. It's been 8 fucking years, and evidently it still crosses her mind. Before, a year or two or three or four ago, they never told me the intimate details. The timeline was that M was cheating while she was pregnant with the first, and quite possibly after birth. I don't know if C knows. I don't know if M knows C and I were an item at one time. I don't know if M knows it still crosses Cs mind.
I don't know what C was trying to get across to me.
This is all very painful.
***EDIT***
One other thing
M #2, the second night, was pushing his brother in law to go have sex with his sister, i mean, vocally saying this out loud. This added further uncomfortability, I don't know if it's normal for him to act that way with them (I haven't seen it) but I know I would never, you know, cheer a brother in law of mine on to go have sex with my sister. The whole two nights were fucking surreal, and I think I'm going to have to file this under, "weird shit I really don't want to try to understand" and just concentrate on getting the fuck out of here.
