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sathorI think I've done pretty well.
I've handled being single for nearly a year now.
But it seems like the more time that passes, the more it starts to tear away at me inside.
There's no one validating my existence, there's no one for me to curl up with in bed, there's no one for me to enjoy going out with. There's a massive void in my self that nothing fills, an emptiness that has been left by all of the scars that my past left on me, and it really will never "go away."
I have so much love to give, and no one to give it too. And it's killing me, very slowly. And I really don't know how to deal with it anymore.
I just want someone who LOVES ME as much as I love them. Gods, it's too much to fucking ask for, isn't it?
I have tried so hard in my past relationships, so very hard to make it work, to make it last, to upkeep it and help it grow, but it always wilted before my very eyes and left me even less of a complete human being inside. And the people that were once a part of it no longer care about me, no longer care for me, no longer care to be around me. How can that be? How can anyone want to sacrifice so much of their life, and for what? Could I really have been so terrible? How am I supposed to rebuild a sense of self-respect when I can look through my past all I see are people leaving me and friends stabbing me in the back. People have called me pretentious, how exactly is that EVEN possible?
It's as though they don't pay attention to any of the things that go in inside of me, that they are all quite well aware of. It's as though they don't notice the damage I've suffered at the hands of people I've loved unconditionally. I am not pretentious I am broken and I'm asking for forgiveness, I'm asking for love, and no one seems to have ANY to give.
Why don't you take a few months and live like I live, lets see how you feel. Lets see if you understand. I am not pretentious, I am hurt, alone and tired.
If I have one prayer, it's that it all can heal, it's that someone can be there for me like I can be there for them.
I've handled being single for nearly a year now.
But it seems like the more time that passes, the more it starts to tear away at me inside.
There's no one validating my existence, there's no one for me to curl up with in bed, there's no one for me to enjoy going out with. There's a massive void in my self that nothing fills, an emptiness that has been left by all of the scars that my past left on me, and it really will never "go away."
I have so much love to give, and no one to give it too. And it's killing me, very slowly. And I really don't know how to deal with it anymore.
I just want someone who LOVES ME as much as I love them. Gods, it's too much to fucking ask for, isn't it?
I have tried so hard in my past relationships, so very hard to make it work, to make it last, to upkeep it and help it grow, but it always wilted before my very eyes and left me even less of a complete human being inside. And the people that were once a part of it no longer care about me, no longer care for me, no longer care to be around me. How can that be? How can anyone want to sacrifice so much of their life, and for what? Could I really have been so terrible? How am I supposed to rebuild a sense of self-respect when I can look through my past all I see are people leaving me and friends stabbing me in the back. People have called me pretentious, how exactly is that EVEN possible?
It's as though they don't pay attention to any of the things that go in inside of me, that they are all quite well aware of. It's as though they don't notice the damage I've suffered at the hands of people I've loved unconditionally. I am not pretentious I am broken and I'm asking for forgiveness, I'm asking for love, and no one seems to have ANY to give.
Why don't you take a few months and live like I live, lets see how you feel. Lets see if you understand. I am not pretentious, I am hurt, alone and tired.
If I have one prayer, it's that it all can heal, it's that someone can be there for me like I can be there for them.
