(no subject)
Feb. 24th, 2004 11:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sathorLots of contemplation.
I realize now, after all of this time, the main reason I had a problem getting over cass was that I didn't understand the simple one-word question...Why.
I still don't, but now I can put it behind me. She showed so much care and love and suddenly smash...it was all shattered without a word as she dissipated into nothingness in the masses of people that live. As if she never felt a single thing for me. That's why I had so much of a problem. I guess it must be really hard for me to understand people that totally contradict like that...but it was all a guise anyway I take it.
Beyond that, I consider the PSSAs tomorrow and many other things. As soon as I get a license ...things are going to change. Big time. I'm going to have a job, going to be able to meet people without needing to rely on other's for rides and shit as that. Going to be able to get what i want when i want it with cash inflow...I just can't wait. Life has been so dull, this year and the next should just totally blow my mind away.
I consider the fact that really, I don't have anybody I connect with anymore other than my cousin. None of my friends understand most of my points of view, they are honestly close-minded it seems like a lot of times...but then again, they have been my friends since i was a little kid. Loyalty like that is something you only get from friends you've had since childhood. Loyalty where no matter how much any of you change...you still can hang out and have tons of fun together. A strange thing indeed.
After these PSSAs are out of the way, it is smooth sailing for the most part. Finish up biology and geometry, read two more novels, do driver's ed and i'm DONE. Yes, i cannot wait. I get free college courses next year too.
Everything is finally looking up.
I realize now, after all of this time, the main reason I had a problem getting over cass was that I didn't understand the simple one-word question...Why.
I still don't, but now I can put it behind me. She showed so much care and love and suddenly smash...it was all shattered without a word as she dissipated into nothingness in the masses of people that live. As if she never felt a single thing for me. That's why I had so much of a problem. I guess it must be really hard for me to understand people that totally contradict like that...but it was all a guise anyway I take it.
Beyond that, I consider the PSSAs tomorrow and many other things. As soon as I get a license ...things are going to change. Big time. I'm going to have a job, going to be able to meet people without needing to rely on other's for rides and shit as that. Going to be able to get what i want when i want it with cash inflow...I just can't wait. Life has been so dull, this year and the next should just totally blow my mind away.
I consider the fact that really, I don't have anybody I connect with anymore other than my cousin. None of my friends understand most of my points of view, they are honestly close-minded it seems like a lot of times...but then again, they have been my friends since i was a little kid. Loyalty like that is something you only get from friends you've had since childhood. Loyalty where no matter how much any of you change...you still can hang out and have tons of fun together. A strange thing indeed.
After these PSSAs are out of the way, it is smooth sailing for the most part. Finish up biology and geometry, read two more novels, do driver's ed and i'm DONE. Yes, i cannot wait. I get free college courses next year too.
Everything is finally looking up.
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 01:33 am (UTC)