I tried to sleep again...
Feb. 14th, 2011 02:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sathorOkay, so I tried to sleep again but, once again, I had nightmares that resulted in cold sweats. This is like the fourth "cycle" in a row. This is seriously freaking me the hell out at this point. I'm sure, it must be the medications, but even still...If you don't count the two hours I managed last night and the hour or so I just managed, I haven't slept for nearing 24 hours.
Everything was fine, it was a typical dream. But near the end of it, everything switched. I was standing out in my yard, looking out towards the edge of the field. It just got nasty looking. And then I heard this massive voice...way, way, WAY more frightening and penetrating than ANYTHING I have EVER heard, in a dream, in a game, in a movie, any voice actor...and it said, "I AM the GOD of NOTHINGNESS", and something prior to that I can not recall...and I instantly felt this wave of malevolence and GUILT especially, something clicked in me...I don't know what to say. I was considering hearing the rest of what it had to say, and start journeying through whatever ridiculous shit would happen to be in my way, but the guilt and the fear overtook me, and I forced myself to wake. I guess I was lucky I knew I was dreaming...but that seems silly, if I knew I was dreaming, how is it that I was afraid? And why is it sticking with me?
The guilt I felt was very focused...it was kind of like a "if I were to die right now, guilt would be what I feel, because I have not done anything, because my life appears meaningless. This can not happen."
Hard to explain. Shocking.
Everything was fine, it was a typical dream. But near the end of it, everything switched. I was standing out in my yard, looking out towards the edge of the field. It just got nasty looking. And then I heard this massive voice...way, way, WAY more frightening and penetrating than ANYTHING I have EVER heard, in a dream, in a game, in a movie, any voice actor...and it said, "I AM the GOD of NOTHINGNESS", and something prior to that I can not recall...and I instantly felt this wave of malevolence and GUILT especially, something clicked in me...I don't know what to say. I was considering hearing the rest of what it had to say, and start journeying through whatever ridiculous shit would happen to be in my way, but the guilt and the fear overtook me, and I forced myself to wake. I guess I was lucky I knew I was dreaming...but that seems silly, if I knew I was dreaming, how is it that I was afraid? And why is it sticking with me?
The guilt I felt was very focused...it was kind of like a "if I were to die right now, guilt would be what I feel, because I have not done anything, because my life appears meaningless. This can not happen."
Hard to explain. Shocking.
