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Is a bust, I'd say. I'm going to give it some more time but I can barely comprehend how to mount a soft synth let alone get it to recognize my midi controller. It may very well be a decent post-production program, when you already have all of the audio files for individual tracks recorded and rendered, but I'm not sure it acts as a good sequencer whatsoever. I will note I don't -need- sequencing for anything but drums (not if i play each individual part of a drumset, hard to play them all at once on a keyboard), but I sure as hell can't play if it won't recognize my keyboard.

The first thing that comes to mind is that for a $500+ program it sure as hell looks like shit compared to FL Studio and has the appearance of a GUI from the late 90s. The core program for FL is only like $180. So glad I didn't -pay money for it-

Cubase is the other option but I suppose the reality is after this many years FL feels like home. There's nothing you can't do in it and it's only a click of a mouse away. I hate programs that aren't logically streamlined.

I think what I really needed was something to keep me away from FL for a week or two to make me feel the need to work on music again. Every time one of these creatively dead periods happen it seems like I get closer to the brink of just giving up completely. The fact is the military looks juicier by the day. I really don't know anymore.

Something tells me that ultimately what the US is doing is probably better for the world as a whole, and through all of the arguing and lost lives, the future for the countries we deal with militarily are probably far better far faster than they would have been had we left them alone. Without democracy or socialism or similar forms of humanistic government throughout the world, with good systems of education included, we will never really have a truly peacable world. In this day and age, I can see the purpose of imperialism as long as it still operates utilitarianly. Unfortunately military service is a breech of Buddhist values and they are the only thing holding me back from probably having the adventure of a lifetime, maybe getting killed, maybe getting maimed, but if not coming away with life experience only a select few people ever get to have...

I was watching General Ptraeus talk on PBS (on a show where you know teleprompters wouldn't be allowed) and he is a General I would serve. He is intelligent, full of clarity, understanding...and he has this sarcastic aura about him that reminds me of myself. I know that he's an imperialist but you know, there's just something good about him. Nobody that smart could be morally bankrupt.

To be honest, there's only two things holding me back from service...one is the question of whether or not killing or aiding in killing individuals almost certainly more sinister than my own self is morally wrong and will harm my spirit...two is the question of whether or not I can live with knowing I may be seriously hurt/injured/killed and I won't have offspring nor anyone to take care of me when I return.

Sigh. But I feel like such a misfit that the only place I'd really fit in society is in the military or in prison...funny, isn't it...

Date: 2010-03-05 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] minxyminou.livejournal.com
I'm not confident enough in the motivations of the US to really support a lot of what the military is doing abroad.

If you have moral issues with it I wouldn't suggest joining the military. You will never truly succeed in a venture that doesn't align with your values.

Date: 2010-03-05 04:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sathor.livejournal.com
I'd never say anyone is completely morally bankrupt...hitler had a vision that was good, but he went about it the wrong way. Arguably imperialism may be the only way to achieve peace and unity in the world. That doesn't mean genociding cultures but slowly working them out of the system which is already being done - look at the death of religion. Only religions that embrace the love of different kinds of people will survive in the future. Scientific education replaces the biased education of culture.

I do like Ptraeus. On the other hand I don't think he served a lot of time as a foot soldier.

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