For Posterity

[sathor]

Actually caught my eyes.

I'm up to 161lbs naked now.

Comments

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

Nice pic. How tall are you?

[sathor.livejournal.com]

Somewhere around 6'2" to 6'4" ... I don't know exactly because at 17 for my driver's license I was 6'2" but my last physical I -think- the nurse said 6'4.5" with shoes. But I didn't get to look at what she wrote down.

Yeah, I'm like freakishly tall.

But eh, it's who I am so I live with it. Just like the other various imperfections.

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

I was just trying to work out height to weight ratio since it seems like me you struggle to maintain weight.

I'm pretty tall for a girl at 5"11.

Mind you you're not freakishly tall. I have an ex who is 6"7 and another who is 6"8. Now THAT is freakishly tall.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

I really struggle to maintain weight. I hate it. I've always been thin, and I've been slowly trying to fix that. It's really the only thing I can work on. Time might heal some of the acne scarring, as I've read, and I do see a huge difference since I took the antibiotics two months ago. I no longer have acne, just intermittent scarring, and it looks like it's slowly fading away. But I'm still not really comfortable with how I look.

Eventually, my goatee will fill out enough to cover the remaining truly visible scarring if it doesn't fade completely. Then the only thing I'll really find dissatisfying about myself is my stupid nose. It's not as if it's too large for my overall size or even my head, but I've always felt it was too large for my face.

You know, my exes used to tell me I was too much like a girl (you're much taller than them.) Suck, because I don't think I'll ever be the masculine guy all the girls want. This reply totally makes me feel girlie.

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

I've always had the same problem with weight. I used to get accused all the time of being anorexic but really I just have an insanely high metabolism. I'm actually a good eater except when I'm stressed or upset. Kind of like a thoroughbred race horse :P

Time will help with the acne scarring definitely, as will the goatee. My cousin had the same problem and he had microdermabrasion which helped a lot. That might be an option for you when you have some cash to spare in the future.

Boys are allowed to have big noses!

Not all the girls want the guys who fit the stereotype of what society tells us that masculine should be. Butters is a pretty good example of that!

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. With the weight. Do you do the whole protein shakes thing? It helps me a lot.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's exactly what it's like for me. I eat more than just about anyone in my family or anyone I know 80% of the time, but I've been called anorexic before too. I envy people who can live off of ramen, and really that all plays a part in how secure I feel taking serious risks outside of here without any money. I usually get very emotionally screwed up when I haven't been eating well (and I mean, very well compared to most people.) It's almost like night and day emotionally, when I haven't eaten enough.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

I did when I had money. I -love- soy protein shakes, but the other kinds never really tasted that great to me. Lots of people talk about how bad it is for you, but they really did help me feel better, which means I was probably protein deficit for my size. There's all sorts of weird things to consider when you are half a foot taller than the average man.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

Microdermabrasion is something I thought about but it's gonna be out of my price range for a very long time probably. The scarring isn't actually all that bad, to be honest. Even in the colored version of the pic, it's only the chin that is really noticeable at all, and it's much better than it was even two months ago.

It's not like I would ever judge someone else's beauty based on the size of their nose or whether or not they had acne scars. I guess it just gets to me I'm not perfect. Sometimes I feel very close, and sometimes I hate the way I look absolutely. I think I look great in my little ljpic, but then again I'm hiding behind a bandana and sunglasses. For some reason the more you can see of me in a pic though, the more in proportion everything looks.

I know not all the girls do, but I'm under the impression they are all taken.

[sathor.livejournal.com]

One other thing I want to ask you! You're so beautiful, so it makes me think you have some kind of secret...I'm sure you were born with it...but as a girl you probably know some things I don't.

I had a girl tell me one time that I needed to moisturize everyday. I could when I had acne because it just made it worse. Will that help even skin tone, and if not, as a girl do you have any tricks besides makeup that you use in a daily hygiene regime or whatever to accomplish that, and to look healthier even without makeup?

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

*blush*

I don't do anything special in terms of vitamins, lotions and potions but the one thing I have always done is stayed out of the sun. I wear high protection sunscreen every single day and will often wear a hat or carry a parasol if I'm outside.

Ok so if you could find a moisturiser with AHA's or salicylic acid in it that would help even out your scars. It doesn't need to be expensive, brands like simple and neutrogena still have the active ingredients you need. This: http://www.amazon.com/Neutrogena-Advanced-Solutions-Fading-1-4-Ounce/dp/B001E96MMQ/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1265056483&sr=1-2 looks perfect for your needs and has pretty good reviews but for a neutrogena product it's really expensive. If you google asprin mask that might be a good way for you to get the effect without spending too much $$$.