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Consumer Junk
May. 16th, 2015 12:51 pmI've been wearing basically the same clothes for a few years now - and actually, part of my wardrobe still consists of band t-shirts and such that I wore all the way back in my years of university. Granted, I've always had jobs where nice clothes were simply out of the question. But, I figured it was about time I put some effort in.
So I ordered a couple pairs of cargo pants (military camo and beige) (34W (I'm really a 32) 36L - normally I would wear a 34/34, but I find sometimes those look like high-water pants on me - really depends on the manufacturer, but I'd rather they be longer than short.) A pair of jeans in the same size, and a few shirts (all large, tall style - I can wear a medium but they don't fit right in the shoulders. I like how XL hangs on me, but my chest is too small to really accomodate them.) This'll be the first color I really have in my wardrobe - a horizontal striped dark blue/red shirt, and a horizontal striped dark blue shirt, plus a black polo (I've never worn a polo, we'll see how this goes) and two more plain gray patterned shirts. These will work for "semi-dressy" and I think the polo definitely will. They aren't quite business casual but they'd work for an interview, I reckon. I can always buy khakis/pleated pants and some button-up collar shirts later.
To answer the obvious question, "Why didn't you go and shop around some stores?" The answer is a resounding, "Because there aren't any real stores around here." My choice, locally, is Wal-Mart essentially, and if I want to drive an hour, I can have access to a couple more stores. The pricing won't be better than what it is online, and shipping is typically cheaper than the cost in gasoline and time spent. There's also the style issue - I can find much better styles online than what I can around here. Style here is driven by demand, and for men (and arguably women) style tends to suck. American styles in general, even skimming online, seem terribly boring compared to Asian or European styles. I've also read that US sizes and tailoring tends to be very bad for tall men. This probably explains why shirts hardly ever fit me - if I need length, typically I have to wear an XL, which then makes me look like a child in an adult's shirt. This is also why I ordered those shirts as large tall-fit. Never had a shirt that was a tall-fit - we will see how it goes.
I did spend a decent amount of money doing this, but given that 95% of my wardrobe has been Christmas and birthday gifts for years (since no one has any clue what else I like) it's a WELL overdue expenditure. If I like the sizing of the pants, I can buy a few more pairs because I have some bonus cash from Old Navy now. If I have to hem them up a bit, I will.
I also splurged a bit and bought a mechanical keyboard (I learned to type on these, and I still type "hard", so I think it will hold up better) and a backup ergonomic mouse for when this one inevitably decides to die on me. I'd been meaning to get some plain black studs as well, and grabbed a pair of really neat dragon print hoops: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0057LZ3CM/ref=pe_385040_128020140_TE_3p_dp_1
On the amazon order, I also grabbed a cheap pair of spring-steel grip strengtheners, to replace the hand-me-down, ancient, lost pair, and a speed jump rope for a different kind of stationary cardio.
Last i checked a couple months ago, two of my piercings in each ear were still open. I'm hoping I can get the third open as well. I haven't worn earrings in years, ever since I left for Alaska and returned - taking them out for good had something to do with me feeling like I needed to "fit in", but I've been realizing that there's something terribly wrong with the idea of me feeling shameful for being who I am, or denying my real self to show through. That is a multi-level statement, too - for years I've felt shameful and disgraceful for being somewhat reserved, shy, and introspective - I think a big part of my social anxiety stems from that shame. But there's nothing inherently wrong with being who I am, and trying to forcefully resist it/negative self talk because of it, doesn't serve any good whatsoever. I'm better off embracing who I am. The other stuff will come in time, if it's meant to. I'm much more open and welcoming if I'm not anxious about appearing shy...and there's a bit of irony there, I think. It's almost as if it's a downward spiral/catch 22 - if I'm right about this, the anxiety and shame over being naturally introspective begets more anxiety. I need to stop worrying about what people think about who I am or how I appear (and thinking that I can control those other people and their opinions/thoughts) and focus on just being.
I seem to be getting my eating habits in order as well - I'm eating an amount which seems right for a man of my size and given my exercise habits, and that's awesome. I've always...ALWAYS had problems eating enough. If I can turn this into a habit, I think I'm setting a proper course into my future.
I am now seriously considering SNHU online for a bachelors in psychology and possibly English. It should only cost me somewhere between 10-15,000 to get one of those bachelors, given I have two years under my belt already. Once I have a bachelors, that will open up doors to graduate schools, or just some entry-level office position around here, or maybe even something more interesting. I'd like to learn a modern coding language as well, and that I -don't- have to pay for. This is simply the most efficient use of my savings - going off to live on campus somewhere else sounds interesting and all, but it would only work with a very large financial aid package (consisting primarily of grants) and I can't get guarantees on that front without committing heavily to a given school. I can't let the dysfunctional higher education system destroy what I worked so hard for...and that's that.
So I ordered a couple pairs of cargo pants (military camo and beige) (34W (I'm really a 32) 36L - normally I would wear a 34/34, but I find sometimes those look like high-water pants on me - really depends on the manufacturer, but I'd rather they be longer than short.) A pair of jeans in the same size, and a few shirts (all large, tall style - I can wear a medium but they don't fit right in the shoulders. I like how XL hangs on me, but my chest is too small to really accomodate them.) This'll be the first color I really have in my wardrobe - a horizontal striped dark blue/red shirt, and a horizontal striped dark blue shirt, plus a black polo (I've never worn a polo, we'll see how this goes) and two more plain gray patterned shirts. These will work for "semi-dressy" and I think the polo definitely will. They aren't quite business casual but they'd work for an interview, I reckon. I can always buy khakis/pleated pants and some button-up collar shirts later.
To answer the obvious question, "Why didn't you go and shop around some stores?" The answer is a resounding, "Because there aren't any real stores around here." My choice, locally, is Wal-Mart essentially, and if I want to drive an hour, I can have access to a couple more stores. The pricing won't be better than what it is online, and shipping is typically cheaper than the cost in gasoline and time spent. There's also the style issue - I can find much better styles online than what I can around here. Style here is driven by demand, and for men (and arguably women) style tends to suck. American styles in general, even skimming online, seem terribly boring compared to Asian or European styles. I've also read that US sizes and tailoring tends to be very bad for tall men. This probably explains why shirts hardly ever fit me - if I need length, typically I have to wear an XL, which then makes me look like a child in an adult's shirt. This is also why I ordered those shirts as large tall-fit. Never had a shirt that was a tall-fit - we will see how it goes.
I did spend a decent amount of money doing this, but given that 95% of my wardrobe has been Christmas and birthday gifts for years (since no one has any clue what else I like) it's a WELL overdue expenditure. If I like the sizing of the pants, I can buy a few more pairs because I have some bonus cash from Old Navy now. If I have to hem them up a bit, I will.
I also splurged a bit and bought a mechanical keyboard (I learned to type on these, and I still type "hard", so I think it will hold up better) and a backup ergonomic mouse for when this one inevitably decides to die on me. I'd been meaning to get some plain black studs as well, and grabbed a pair of really neat dragon print hoops: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0057LZ3CM/ref=pe_385040_128020140_TE_3p_dp_1
On the amazon order, I also grabbed a cheap pair of spring-steel grip strengtheners, to replace the hand-me-down, ancient, lost pair, and a speed jump rope for a different kind of stationary cardio.
Last i checked a couple months ago, two of my piercings in each ear were still open. I'm hoping I can get the third open as well. I haven't worn earrings in years, ever since I left for Alaska and returned - taking them out for good had something to do with me feeling like I needed to "fit in", but I've been realizing that there's something terribly wrong with the idea of me feeling shameful for being who I am, or denying my real self to show through. That is a multi-level statement, too - for years I've felt shameful and disgraceful for being somewhat reserved, shy, and introspective - I think a big part of my social anxiety stems from that shame. But there's nothing inherently wrong with being who I am, and trying to forcefully resist it/negative self talk because of it, doesn't serve any good whatsoever. I'm better off embracing who I am. The other stuff will come in time, if it's meant to. I'm much more open and welcoming if I'm not anxious about appearing shy...and there's a bit of irony there, I think. It's almost as if it's a downward spiral/catch 22 - if I'm right about this, the anxiety and shame over being naturally introspective begets more anxiety. I need to stop worrying about what people think about who I am or how I appear (and thinking that I can control those other people and their opinions/thoughts) and focus on just being.
I seem to be getting my eating habits in order as well - I'm eating an amount which seems right for a man of my size and given my exercise habits, and that's awesome. I've always...ALWAYS had problems eating enough. If I can turn this into a habit, I think I'm setting a proper course into my future.
I am now seriously considering SNHU online for a bachelors in psychology and possibly English. It should only cost me somewhere between 10-15,000 to get one of those bachelors, given I have two years under my belt already. Once I have a bachelors, that will open up doors to graduate schools, or just some entry-level office position around here, or maybe even something more interesting. I'd like to learn a modern coding language as well, and that I -don't- have to pay for. This is simply the most efficient use of my savings - going off to live on campus somewhere else sounds interesting and all, but it would only work with a very large financial aid package (consisting primarily of grants) and I can't get guarantees on that front without committing heavily to a given school. I can't let the dysfunctional higher education system destroy what I worked so hard for...and that's that.
