The Last Week
Mar. 18th, 2015 10:27 pmThe only word to describe this week is draining. It's all the same as usual - way too much idle time, not enough work to do, and too much gossip. But I've had to answer questions about what I'm doing more times than I care to - and I'm starting to get short with people who ask about it. I can't predict the future you know - I can take steps and have a goal in mind, but that doesn't mean that I will meet that goal, or meet it exactly as I currently intend. Things change...a lot faster than I care for. And I've always felt that way about life - moving way too fast for me. I'm just not well adapted to the velocity of life.
One impression came to me today with a bit of a somber feel - that I wish I could pursue a lot of things in life to their ends, but that it's simply impossible to do so. I wouldn't mind living a life working at United and seeing where it took me - if anywhere - but I can't do that, and also try to become a teacher - go to a real university - live in a different area for awhile while doing so - and see what opportunities a further education opens me up to. There's so many threads possible in a single life, and we can only see a handful - it's almost dizzying to attempt to comprehend the infinite vastness of threads lost and threads yet to be even in ONE life, let alone the lives of billions. And with every small decision, threads are refined or lost forever, with no way for us to predict those consequences down the road.
I'll miss some of my coworkers and there's already a sense of nostalgia about the place - but this time would've come eventually. All comes to an end. I've heard from some guys soon retiring that they've been warned by upper management to leave before the next union contract - this supports my feelings on the place, and my decision more completely.
Here's to recuperating and finding my center again after years of working against my innermost senses and intuition.
One impression came to me today with a bit of a somber feel - that I wish I could pursue a lot of things in life to their ends, but that it's simply impossible to do so. I wouldn't mind living a life working at United and seeing where it took me - if anywhere - but I can't do that, and also try to become a teacher - go to a real university - live in a different area for awhile while doing so - and see what opportunities a further education opens me up to. There's so many threads possible in a single life, and we can only see a handful - it's almost dizzying to attempt to comprehend the infinite vastness of threads lost and threads yet to be even in ONE life, let alone the lives of billions. And with every small decision, threads are refined or lost forever, with no way for us to predict those consequences down the road.
I'll miss some of my coworkers and there's already a sense of nostalgia about the place - but this time would've come eventually. All comes to an end. I've heard from some guys soon retiring that they've been warned by upper management to leave before the next union contract - this supports my feelings on the place, and my decision more completely.
Here's to recuperating and finding my center again after years of working against my innermost senses and intuition.