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Melancholy
Jul. 22nd, 2014 06:46 pmUpdate. Update. Update.
Yeah, an update.
Friday I went camping on a whim with two guys I work with - Matt and John. Matt borrowed his dad's speed boat and we took it out on Tionesta Lake. Little bit of fishing before dark, fighting off Dobson flies, and picking up Matt's brother at the docks after nightfall - then we made our way back to our campsite, started a fire, and I started drinking some good ol' apple pie moonshine (which left me with zero hangover, but never quite got me all that drunk - just a nice, natural feeling buzz.) I played some acoustic guitar for everyone (and surprisingly, everyone found it rather entertaining - I'm not even really a guitarist...I just like to play around and improvise.) It was a great night, really. We woke up to rain in the morning, and it didn't stop - by 8 we were packing up and headed to the docks to end the camping trip. If we had came a bit more prepared, I think we would've stayed.
Saturday and Sunday I spent mainly doing absolutely nothing. Some wood cutting and splitting with father and generally just being lazy. I did play music both days but didn't really get anywhere with it - such is life, I suppose. I still need to keep at doing it daily or nearly daily, though.
Besides that, it's not much of an update I guess. I called in to work today so I could clean my room completely and ponder this job offer in Inspection - it would mean the end of me being in the Union, and probably comparable pay. It would also mean working directly for the company, less guaranteed vacation and (at times) weirder hours. It might also mean not being able to call in when I feel like it without reprimand. Reality is, I don't want to work at United forever. I really don't. More and more I want to return to college, just to get the hell away from this rat race and "career" that I'm not really enjoying, even if it is temporary. It doesn't mean I want to move somewhere else after college, it doesn't mean I want to move away from family, it doesn't mean I think I'll meet the lady of my dreams (I kinda doubt that one.) It just means I would really like some time to think, and fucking relax, and just...not feel so cagey. I want to hear new ideas, hear new voices, meet new people, see something different for awhile. Is it a bad decision? I don't know. But I do know that I'm allowed to fail, and if I return to college only to fail at life later because of it, it wouldn't be much of a real failure, would it?
So what if I'm leaving a job that pays $30/h eventually, has good benefits and vacation time. Is that really all life is about?
Yeah, an update.
Friday I went camping on a whim with two guys I work with - Matt and John. Matt borrowed his dad's speed boat and we took it out on Tionesta Lake. Little bit of fishing before dark, fighting off Dobson flies, and picking up Matt's brother at the docks after nightfall - then we made our way back to our campsite, started a fire, and I started drinking some good ol' apple pie moonshine (which left me with zero hangover, but never quite got me all that drunk - just a nice, natural feeling buzz.) I played some acoustic guitar for everyone (and surprisingly, everyone found it rather entertaining - I'm not even really a guitarist...I just like to play around and improvise.) It was a great night, really. We woke up to rain in the morning, and it didn't stop - by 8 we were packing up and headed to the docks to end the camping trip. If we had came a bit more prepared, I think we would've stayed.
Saturday and Sunday I spent mainly doing absolutely nothing. Some wood cutting and splitting with father and generally just being lazy. I did play music both days but didn't really get anywhere with it - such is life, I suppose. I still need to keep at doing it daily or nearly daily, though.
Besides that, it's not much of an update I guess. I called in to work today so I could clean my room completely and ponder this job offer in Inspection - it would mean the end of me being in the Union, and probably comparable pay. It would also mean working directly for the company, less guaranteed vacation and (at times) weirder hours. It might also mean not being able to call in when I feel like it without reprimand. Reality is, I don't want to work at United forever. I really don't. More and more I want to return to college, just to get the hell away from this rat race and "career" that I'm not really enjoying, even if it is temporary. It doesn't mean I want to move somewhere else after college, it doesn't mean I want to move away from family, it doesn't mean I think I'll meet the lady of my dreams (I kinda doubt that one.) It just means I would really like some time to think, and fucking relax, and just...not feel so cagey. I want to hear new ideas, hear new voices, meet new people, see something different for awhile. Is it a bad decision? I don't know. But I do know that I'm allowed to fail, and if I return to college only to fail at life later because of it, it wouldn't be much of a real failure, would it?
So what if I'm leaving a job that pays $30/h eventually, has good benefits and vacation time. Is that really all life is about?
