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Apr. 26th, 2011 11:02 pmToday I am not quite as a happy. But still, relatively upbeat.
Most of today was simple stuff. Coiling up hoses down by some tanks separated from the rest of the plant by concrete barriers. Then creating some pathways and walkways with fresh loads of gravel in said containment areas. They were basically a swamp otherwise.
Started sweating quite a bit today between the physical workload and the humidity/heat. Wearing coveralls is going to suck in the summer, I can already see that coming. I'll be wearing nothing but boxers underneath them eventually...I know that much.
Spent the second half of the day screwing around down at the Seneca Fire Water Station. Thunderstorm caused a power flicker and knocked out a few parts of the plant. Lots of problems, but I suppose I got lucky thanks to Toby. My mother might not like him much (pretty long story there, to say the least) but he's definitely a pretty awesome guy. Wish I would've been around in his young days...back when you could fucking smoke weed and work at a place like that. I wonder when my generation is going to stand up for itself?
The permanency of my job at the refinery has been further brought into question. The place does have a really positive affect on me in all sorts of ways, especially emotionally. But ultimately it can't be the last job I ever have (at least, not yet...) I don't think I would be satisfied looking back on my life if I let that be the case...unless I find a willing lifetime partner and have a kid or two sometime soon. I can keep hoping, right?
I had a dream I went back to Alaska while napping a little while ago. I was pretty fucking happy to be there. Something tells me that I'm supposed to see a whole fuck of a lot more of the world. I went on the drop of a dime in the dream, and totally sacrificed a job to return to at the refinery if I came back. Not sure I'd do that in reality, but still...
I've been talking with Kayla quite a bit more. Maybe this weekend we'll be able to spend some time together. I'm not expecting a damn thing to happen...it'll just be nice to have some one-on-one female attention for once. Been a while. Plus I think she might need some attention herself, so at least I can provide that. And some booze.
I'm thinking that my happiness may have a lot to do with stress/relaxation response after work, and also chemical/hormonal. Possibly also biorhythm. There might actually be ideal times for me to be out prowling around for a prospective girlfriend and times when I'd be better off just staying home. If there's any kind of pattern, I need to figure it out.
I have about $2600ish in the bank right now. I think it's the largest my account has ever been. That number is about 1/3rd of what I need to destroy my loans once and for all and finally pay my stupid ass college the $1200 so I can legitimately have my diploma, and release transcripts.
If I keep about $400-500 of every 2 week paycheck, then I should be able to end that bullshit around September. It's a long ways to go without me getting anything for myself...but I feel like I should be thinking about the long term here. A clean slate is a good idea.
If I get rid of that little problem, then I'll pretty much be able to buy anything I want and/or need while living at home with the rents...and fulfill my hearts desires, besides women (although I suppose they cost money too, huh?) Once I have most of what I want, I'll be able to start saving and maybe move out or determine college prospects or other shit next year. Sadly that means I'll be turning 25 before I return to college or move out...but I guess life doesn't work out ideal for everyone. I've never been average, and shouldn't expect my life to work out that way either. I'm above average, damnit. QUITE A BIT above average.
My life would be all sorts of fucked up if I had moved out after high school or right after college, anyway. I probably wouldn't have this keyboard, these studio monitors, or this computer. I probably wouldn't even have my guitar. And I probably wouldn't be working at the refinery. I probably wouldn't have gone to Alaska. The only saving grace would be that I might still be with Cookie...however, that probably wouldn't be a good thing. Not unless she's changed a whole fuck ton. And somehow, I really, really fucking doubt it.
Most of today was simple stuff. Coiling up hoses down by some tanks separated from the rest of the plant by concrete barriers. Then creating some pathways and walkways with fresh loads of gravel in said containment areas. They were basically a swamp otherwise.
Started sweating quite a bit today between the physical workload and the humidity/heat. Wearing coveralls is going to suck in the summer, I can already see that coming. I'll be wearing nothing but boxers underneath them eventually...I know that much.
Spent the second half of the day screwing around down at the Seneca Fire Water Station. Thunderstorm caused a power flicker and knocked out a few parts of the plant. Lots of problems, but I suppose I got lucky thanks to Toby. My mother might not like him much (pretty long story there, to say the least) but he's definitely a pretty awesome guy. Wish I would've been around in his young days...back when you could fucking smoke weed and work at a place like that. I wonder when my generation is going to stand up for itself?
The permanency of my job at the refinery has been further brought into question. The place does have a really positive affect on me in all sorts of ways, especially emotionally. But ultimately it can't be the last job I ever have (at least, not yet...) I don't think I would be satisfied looking back on my life if I let that be the case...unless I find a willing lifetime partner and have a kid or two sometime soon. I can keep hoping, right?
I had a dream I went back to Alaska while napping a little while ago. I was pretty fucking happy to be there. Something tells me that I'm supposed to see a whole fuck of a lot more of the world. I went on the drop of a dime in the dream, and totally sacrificed a job to return to at the refinery if I came back. Not sure I'd do that in reality, but still...
I've been talking with Kayla quite a bit more. Maybe this weekend we'll be able to spend some time together. I'm not expecting a damn thing to happen...it'll just be nice to have some one-on-one female attention for once. Been a while. Plus I think she might need some attention herself, so at least I can provide that. And some booze.
I'm thinking that my happiness may have a lot to do with stress/relaxation response after work, and also chemical/hormonal. Possibly also biorhythm. There might actually be ideal times for me to be out prowling around for a prospective girlfriend and times when I'd be better off just staying home. If there's any kind of pattern, I need to figure it out.
I have about $2600ish in the bank right now. I think it's the largest my account has ever been. That number is about 1/3rd of what I need to destroy my loans once and for all and finally pay my stupid ass college the $1200 so I can legitimately have my diploma, and release transcripts.
If I keep about $400-500 of every 2 week paycheck, then I should be able to end that bullshit around September. It's a long ways to go without me getting anything for myself...but I feel like I should be thinking about the long term here. A clean slate is a good idea.
If I get rid of that little problem, then I'll pretty much be able to buy anything I want and/or need while living at home with the rents...and fulfill my hearts desires, besides women (although I suppose they cost money too, huh?) Once I have most of what I want, I'll be able to start saving and maybe move out or determine college prospects or other shit next year. Sadly that means I'll be turning 25 before I return to college or move out...but I guess life doesn't work out ideal for everyone. I've never been average, and shouldn't expect my life to work out that way either. I'm above average, damnit. QUITE A BIT above average.
My life would be all sorts of fucked up if I had moved out after high school or right after college, anyway. I probably wouldn't have this keyboard, these studio monitors, or this computer. I probably wouldn't even have my guitar. And I probably wouldn't be working at the refinery. I probably wouldn't have gone to Alaska. The only saving grace would be that I might still be with Cookie...however, that probably wouldn't be a good thing. Not unless she's changed a whole fuck ton. And somehow, I really, really fucking doubt it.
