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I don't believe in God anymore.
I believe in the spiritual nature of the human being, but there is no God. There is no fucking savior. -If- there is, it doesn't care about me, or you, or any of us, or the completely despotic political systems, the unreal disproportionate distribution of wealth. It doesn't care about the suffering of man. It has allowed men of great evil to commit acts so abhorrent that I almost cry when I think of them. This country is evil, our politicians, our foreign policy, our domestic policy, our propaganda and media outlets are pure evil. If there is a God, then there is a war between it and whatever entity is giving so much strength and power to the warlords. There's nothing separating the United States from Ghengis Khan in my eyes, any longer.
The problem is that, I know that human beings as individuals are, generally, good natured. But the problem is that, they are ignorant. Because of their ignorance, because of their apathy, because of their complete inability to research anything of actual importance, because they are oppressed and enslaved, and spend their lives just trying to make it by - the evil men of the world are left to do as they will. And because of that, I believe that human beings are just as guilty as the evil men, just as guilty as I am. And we all deserve to pay for it. If I were a stronger man, I would martyr myself in the name of something that has some kind of real significance, some kind of real impact. But I do not have the courage to sacrifice my life.
The root of it all is greed, the ultimate flaw that the Creator put into this material plane, that there would always be something that someone wants, and therefore, always be those who are willing to do anything, even kill or rape, enslave or torture, to obtain it. Thusly I understand now the significance of destroying desire in the hearts of men, as the Buddhist tradition preaches. It is for their own good - they are too ignorant to recognize the havoc it wreaks amongst them. And Ignorance is the root of all suffering. Because of this, I know in my heart that the systems of education are not designed to inform. They are designed to produce - like a factory - individuals who are capable of particular tasks, all of whom together form the production and development forces of the world, whom raise up the few elite that grant them employ, and a pittance in return. Enough to keep them silent, never enough to free them.
My college loan is going to default - this scalp infection has spread so significantly that probably 30% of the hair on the back of my scalp is gone. The scarring actually isn't even all that noticeable. It'd be better if it just took all of the hair, though - maybe i'll think about getting it surgically removed eventually. If I can get the infection to go away so my scalp is smooth again, i'll start straight razoring it like a goddamn jug head. I prefer that look anyway, it's cleaner, and much more aggressive. Or you know, I'll stick with the bandana. I like that, too. When I don't want to be aggressive. On the other hand, the all-knowing society deems it unfit that professionals wear things like "bandanas" on their heads. Looks like yet another reason I am forced into the working class, besides the caste of my birth, and the complete utter lack of meaningful opportunity.
This has to end at some point - it will either end in my death, or it will end when I finally determine how I'm going to bend this ignorant world so that it serves my selfish ends. Because I no longer see a point to being the humanitarian. I'll be an advocate, but as long as the people around me want capitalism, I'll rightly use it against them. You fuckers deserve it.
I believe in the spiritual nature of the human being, but there is no God. There is no fucking savior. -If- there is, it doesn't care about me, or you, or any of us, or the completely despotic political systems, the unreal disproportionate distribution of wealth. It doesn't care about the suffering of man. It has allowed men of great evil to commit acts so abhorrent that I almost cry when I think of them. This country is evil, our politicians, our foreign policy, our domestic policy, our propaganda and media outlets are pure evil. If there is a God, then there is a war between it and whatever entity is giving so much strength and power to the warlords. There's nothing separating the United States from Ghengis Khan in my eyes, any longer.
The problem is that, I know that human beings as individuals are, generally, good natured. But the problem is that, they are ignorant. Because of their ignorance, because of their apathy, because of their complete inability to research anything of actual importance, because they are oppressed and enslaved, and spend their lives just trying to make it by - the evil men of the world are left to do as they will. And because of that, I believe that human beings are just as guilty as the evil men, just as guilty as I am. And we all deserve to pay for it. If I were a stronger man, I would martyr myself in the name of something that has some kind of real significance, some kind of real impact. But I do not have the courage to sacrifice my life.
The root of it all is greed, the ultimate flaw that the Creator put into this material plane, that there would always be something that someone wants, and therefore, always be those who are willing to do anything, even kill or rape, enslave or torture, to obtain it. Thusly I understand now the significance of destroying desire in the hearts of men, as the Buddhist tradition preaches. It is for their own good - they are too ignorant to recognize the havoc it wreaks amongst them. And Ignorance is the root of all suffering. Because of this, I know in my heart that the systems of education are not designed to inform. They are designed to produce - like a factory - individuals who are capable of particular tasks, all of whom together form the production and development forces of the world, whom raise up the few elite that grant them employ, and a pittance in return. Enough to keep them silent, never enough to free them.
My college loan is going to default - this scalp infection has spread so significantly that probably 30% of the hair on the back of my scalp is gone. The scarring actually isn't even all that noticeable. It'd be better if it just took all of the hair, though - maybe i'll think about getting it surgically removed eventually. If I can get the infection to go away so my scalp is smooth again, i'll start straight razoring it like a goddamn jug head. I prefer that look anyway, it's cleaner, and much more aggressive. Or you know, I'll stick with the bandana. I like that, too. When I don't want to be aggressive. On the other hand, the all-knowing society deems it unfit that professionals wear things like "bandanas" on their heads. Looks like yet another reason I am forced into the working class, besides the caste of my birth, and the complete utter lack of meaningful opportunity.
This has to end at some point - it will either end in my death, or it will end when I finally determine how I'm going to bend this ignorant world so that it serves my selfish ends. Because I no longer see a point to being the humanitarian. I'll be an advocate, but as long as the people around me want capitalism, I'll rightly use it against them. You fuckers deserve it.
