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Relationship
Aug. 1st, 2010 03:54 amI think, maybe, the social standards for relationship may get in the way of having a good life, occasionally.
Thinking about it...putting off any sort of furthering education...even if it means jumping through hoops to attain a better lifestyle financially...it seems like a sacrifice that I and anyone I am with should be willing to allow for.
I am disheartened by the choice, though. I'd rather find a way to be closer to Susan, but on the other hand if I do, I can kiss an expedient improvement in lifestyle goodbye. It's not easy to quickly gain higher education when you work full time to support yourself.
But then again, It's not impossible either.
I really am, underneath it all, rather discontented with the way reality has turned out. I can push the negative aside and concentrate on the positive things, shut out desires for the future, but will it ultimately help me achieve a better one?
I am afraid that it will hinder it.
When I take a good look around myself, and think about the billions of people on this planet, I can't help but wonder where exactly we went wrong as a race. It has always been suffering, even more so than today, but we certainly have a tendency to increase the strain upon ourselves by our actions collectively. By increasing our population, we make it all the harder to attain the "good" in our lives. By creating structure, with rules and requisites for given returns that don't exist naturally - only as a result of our own natures - we place before us and our kin barricades against success immense.
And my perception of the "good" has changed from what was impressed in me by my youth and young adulthood, my socialization. But even still, I fear that I will not be happy, stuck in a live-by-paycheck lifestyle...I have to do everything I can do avoid that.
Thinking about it...putting off any sort of furthering education...even if it means jumping through hoops to attain a better lifestyle financially...it seems like a sacrifice that I and anyone I am with should be willing to allow for.
I am disheartened by the choice, though. I'd rather find a way to be closer to Susan, but on the other hand if I do, I can kiss an expedient improvement in lifestyle goodbye. It's not easy to quickly gain higher education when you work full time to support yourself.
But then again, It's not impossible either.
I really am, underneath it all, rather discontented with the way reality has turned out. I can push the negative aside and concentrate on the positive things, shut out desires for the future, but will it ultimately help me achieve a better one?
I am afraid that it will hinder it.
When I take a good look around myself, and think about the billions of people on this planet, I can't help but wonder where exactly we went wrong as a race. It has always been suffering, even more so than today, but we certainly have a tendency to increase the strain upon ourselves by our actions collectively. By increasing our population, we make it all the harder to attain the "good" in our lives. By creating structure, with rules and requisites for given returns that don't exist naturally - only as a result of our own natures - we place before us and our kin barricades against success immense.
And my perception of the "good" has changed from what was impressed in me by my youth and young adulthood, my socialization. But even still, I fear that I will not be happy, stuck in a live-by-paycheck lifestyle...I have to do everything I can do avoid that.
