May. 2nd, 2010

Hoo boy.

May. 2nd, 2010 05:03 am
sathor: (Default)
Apparently I was Mr. Popular yesterday. I received two phone calls in 15 minutes and called one other person within a half hour prior to that...ridiculous.

I did end up talking to Matt a little. Not impressed. He basically had -no- idea what I was mad about, or why I was simply avoiding him. When he brought it up, he didn't even give me time to explain -why-. He just kept talking. Typical matt. Super-ridiculous "dominant" alpha male. No wonder he gets laid. What is it about guys like him that girls just attach themselves too? What exactly is wrong with a guy like me, who is confident when he's not a fish out of water? Silly girls. They've no idea what kind of guy it takes to have a meaningful relationship. Either that, or most of them my age simply don't want one. Too bad. I'm way better in bed than most guys ;)

Rick ended up picking me up and taking me down to a fire at his sis' house. Jamie was talkative with me as usual. Brooke seemed to be in a much better mood but there was still drama. At one point when rick left for like a half hour (no kidding) still in the house but no anywhere near us, she started saying how it had nothing to do with me being there and that it happens all the time. Really heart breaking to see that. They had a fight today too over the phone when I was in his car. Sigh. I wish things like that didn't have to happen.

Jamie was kinda being silly. At one point I said one perverted thing all night (I think) and she said, "give him a break, he hasn't gotten laid in two years" and I said, "That's only because I'm ugly" - she kinda giggled and said, "No self esteem, Jake, no self esteem..."

She seems to think the reason why I don't have a girlfriend is because I have no confidence. Why can't I just be myself and get a girlfriend? Why is it always about changing something? Sigh. It's not that I don't have confidence, I don't have confidence with regards to -women-. I have confidence in every other fucking respect. Apparently women aren't too perceptive? Just because I don't expect women to fall head over heels for my giant, intellectual, reclusive self shouldn't mean I am X'd off the market. I also asked her if she thought I was creepy and she said no :P

Good night, besides the fact I drank -way- too much. Way, way, way too much.

Rick came up today and we had a bit of an StarCraft 2 Marathon in my room. I think we went something like 10 wins 6 losses. Pretty good for my first 16 games. Really enjoyed that...bonding is all about shared experience. Beginning to realize that.

That's that...haven't done much else since. Been pretty sickly today so after he left I laid down for three hours and now I'm up again. Having a few drinks helped take the edge off but I'm still tired as hell. Going to sleep well whenever I get there, I think.
sathor: (Default)
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I'd marry a grand piano.

Because I'd love to have a piano in my house at all times. Not really cool that they are incredibly expensive and owning one means living in one place for an extended period of time.



May. 2nd, 2010 03:54 pm
sathor: (Default)
Why do I have to have the dreams that I do?

Always dreaming of the things that I can't have.


May. 2nd, 2010 08:58 pm
sathor: (Default)
Right now I feel like disappearing but I know once Sunday is over it'll be okay for 5 days. I've been really busy the past couple weekends and life has just been the complete opposite of usual. I don't mind all the activity but I am getting drained enough where I need to recharge. I haven't had any time this weekend to sit down and do much work with music, although I have been practicing Final Fantasy music. I've actually got the intro theme almost down to a science. There's a couple more progressions I need to memorize and I'll be able to play the whole thing through.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised everyone wants to spend time with me. I guess what always got on my nerves was how girls didn't.

Ah well, fuck em. If I'm such a cool dude they'd know better, so obviously I haven't come across any with eyes to see. Not true in all respects but true with regards to the people I've met in this shit hole.

The touring musician cousin of mine is stopping by for a few days starting possibly tomorrow evening. Will be nice to catch up with him but all this activity is really starting to get on my nerves. Argh.


sathor: (Default)

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