(no subject)

Love, I'm afraid, has always been too risky to ever speak of. At least for me.

Why even bother?

It ends up the same way every time, with heart ache and absolutely no reason for me to believe I have any worth or value in a relationship.

Maybe I don't, and maybe it's better if I force myself to see it that way.

From a Doctor

3) No.  There is no need to inform anybody of exposure without known infection.  Even with known infection, there is no obligation to tell partners after the infection has cleared up.  (Your partner shouldn't have told you about her past infection!  See what stress it caused to no good purpose?) And HPV isn't such a big deal anyway.  You're going to get genital HPV someday; if you have had at least 3 vaginal sex partners in your life, the odds are you already have been infected.  Getting genital HPV is normal and for practical purposes unavoidable.

Well at least that makes me feel better.

Tax Return

My return was about $980, which is great considering I only worked a little over half a year.

But -80 the first day because I helped my mother out and wanted some cash.

-90 the second day for loan repayment.

Will probably be anywhere from -150 to -350 tomorrow for a doctor's visit+prescriptions to get rid of this bullshit on my scalp. No one else wants to pay for it.

So it'll end up leaving me with somewhere around $500 in the bank which is less than half of what I need for my fucking diploma.

I'm considering rummaging through stuff I have and trying to sell it to make up the difference since getting a job now is basically out of the question without a vehicle of my own. I've got a bunch of Magic the Gathering cards, and I doubt I'll ever play again. I know there's a couple unglued and beta cards which are typically worth a lot as collector's items.

I have this acoustic guitar that I do absolutely love but the reality is I don't have time for a second instrument and I'd rather have an electric as it's more useful in a digital environment and for what other kinds of things I'm working with audio-wise.

I might be able to scrounge up a few hundred bucks.

Ultimately probably going to have to beg my parents. Not really happy about it.

Really all I want to do is get the fuck out of here, but even living in Warren with a friend won't give me much greater opportunities if there was -room- for me to do so. At the moment Justin is living in Clarendon and you need a car to get to work from there, Matt is paying one-room rent to Brent, Cody moved out of PA and that about sums it up.

Maybe once spring hits I can just use my bike instead. I'd only need a permit not a Class M as long as it was a daylight shift, like 9-5 or 7-3. The right job at Blair would only be an eight or nine mile ride, I'd probably get two weeks of trips on $15-20 gas.

Which is a hidden work tax, I might add. Something people don't think about when they commute a lot.