The Healed.

The past few weeks...have done so much for me.

No, I haven't gotten out, besides getting signed into the company and waiting patiently for a phone call as to where my work site will be. Considering the weather, I guess I shouldn't have expected a call this week.

But regardless...I have worked through just about everything in my mind. I know now that I am not supposed to feel guilty about what happened, because it wasn't my fault. I gave her a million chances to try things again with me. We didn't work out because she didn't want us too. That's all there is to it.

And while she may be, or at least was, a loose slut, I will always love her. I guess that's the way love works. But it's like a friend said...sometimes it's better to love from a distance.

I'm totally going to buy a mic so I can chat with a few people I've gotten to know on World of Warcraft. This one girl just keeps egging me on, and I can't help it. I recall now that social gaming is really where it's at. Once I figure out my job situation, a little bar action will probably be occuring too. But not until I fix my wardrobe and feel completely comfortable in my skin - and I'm very close to that now - I don't want to be doing that. And not only just that, but I've been avoiding drugs and alcohol almost completely. Drugs completely, alcohol to a lesser degree.

Being on a natural sleep cycle rocks as well.

I think I'm still growing. Bone-structure wise. I look more muscular than I did when I worked at the mill but I've actually lost weight. The only thing I can imagine is that I'm finally starting to "fill out." But, on the plus side, I am finally gaining weight now, which means I can start lifting again. I believe the best thing I can do for myself right now is work on goals I have for myself, such as perfecting my body, perfecting my mind, and perfecting my spirit. I'm not going to worry about girls. There's no point. I have tried twice to have serious long-lasting relationships and I realize now that my failure was that I accepted incompatible partners. This has taught me what to avoid and what not to avoid. Thank the gods.

That's it for this update. Back to WoW.

Shay is genius.

The underlying concept between an individuals "need" to move on from a relationship is insecurity with themselves.

1. I have to latch onto this person because no one will ever love me except for them

2. This person makes me feel better than this person but I really just hate myself (insecurity) and this other person is new, therefore a distraction from my own problems which I will not resolve until I don't have a distraction.

Incredibly accurate.