It all falls down...

It's junk.
I fucked up, pure and simple. I jumped into this hoping good would come out of it, and it did...but it's doing the same thing to me that has happened everytime before.

It's killing me.

It's stagnating, it's tension building. I can't handle it. I'm not made for this.

No matter what I do, no matter what path I take, only one leads to another's happiness. How could I lead myself into this trap? How could I do this?

These...ideas...these...thoughts and 'rules' planted into every christians brain in this generation, and many generations before it...have been eradicated for me. I can't do this permanency. I can't do it. I'm not free. I don't understand. And I'm hurting.

And I don't think there's anything anyone can do about it.

I'm sorry.

More sorry than I've ever been.

Forgive me.

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What the %^&# was I thinking anyway?

You know, I really have no clue what that episode of depression was...

In any case, everything I felt then is gone, so no worries.

I take one look at the prom pics of me and her I just got today and I think to myself, "I'm such an idiot, how the hell could i have felt that way last night?"

So it's all good in Jake land again. I just wish I had my license.