How can i go 4 more years alone? 4 more years before even the possibility of a better life comes into effect. The more i think about it, the worse it gets, and i cant just stop thinking about it, its always there somewhere in the back of my mind. I know its the best thing for me...being alone, but its going to be a horrible road. And i suppose that this always leads to two options, death, or a hard life. And its a horrible way to think, but, death doesnt seem such a bad option anymore. I know i could never do it, not in my current state, and probably never, but the option is still there, and will always haunt me.
Once i had people to talk to, that i could trust, i could speak all and everything to. But, one left, and the other became that which he feared, just like everyone else. And so i no longer can talk to him, nor would he talk to me anyway. Its like im trying to go years without anyone in my life at all. And i think for a moment, how many people could?
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